


Heal You

by KitKatFandoms06



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, Catelyn is Dead, Character Death, Depression, Dorne, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Game of Thrones- Modern Au, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Jon Is Not A Stark, Jon Snow is a Targaryen, Kingslanding, Litterfinger is going to jail forever, Lyanna is Not a Stark, Lyanna is sick, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Paparazzi, Petyr Baelish is His Own Warning, Rehab, Robb and Sansa are the only Stark children, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Support, Tag are Spoilers Ahead, They’re happy so fucking what, jonsa, ned is dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-09-01 17:36:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 40,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20261929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KitKatFandoms06/pseuds/KitKatFandoms06
Summary: “Is he as handsome as they say?” She rolls her eyes as she hears Jeyne’s question ring through her head. It takes everything in her not to scoff seeing her sister in law reel over the idea of him.“He’s a pompous ass. He shows up hours late, no lines rehearsed, always going on and on about how valuable his time is...” she rambles of in frustration downing the rest of her drink, “As if no one else’s time is valuable.”“That’s unfortunate. I heard he’s single.”“Jeyne. You are married. To my brother might I add.”“I know, I know...” she laughs, brushing her chestnut hair over her shoulder, “I meant for you!”“You’ve got to be joking.”





	1. Pompous Ass

“Is he as handsome as they say?” She rolls her eyes as she hears Jeyne’s question ring through her head. It takes everything in her not to scoff seeing her sister in law reel over the idea of him. 

“He’s a pompous ass. He shows up hours late, no lines rehearsed, always going on and on about how valuable _his_ time is...” she rambles of in frustration downing the rest of her drink, “As if no one else’s time is valuable.”

“That’s unfortunate. I heard he’s single.”

“Jeyne. You are married. To my brother might I add.”

“I know, I know...” she laughs, brushing her chestnut hair over her shoulder, “I meant for you!” 

“You’ve got to be joking.” She was content being alone. The hours she put in trying making a name for herself, being successful. There was no time to have anything serious, not to mention there wasn’t privacy. What point was any of it with every eye in the world watching so closely. 

“Sans... You have such a big heart. You should be able to share it with someone.” 

“Yes well, I certainly won’t be sharing it with Jon _Snow_,” she states firmly as Jeyne finishes with her glass. She stands collecting the two glasses and walking over to the sink, rinsing them out. 

“I’ve always admired you Sansa... You haven’t let any of this go to your head. People underestimate you, thinking you get by with your looks-“

“Gee Thanks...” she laughs, Jeyne only shaking her head in protest. 

“No. What I’m trying to say is you prove them wrong at every opportunity. There’s a reason that they picked you for this role. Show them all why. Including _pompous_, Jon Snow.” 

Before she can say a word, the buzzer goes off signaling someone at the door. “That will be Robb.” She walks over to the door, swinging it open to see her brother and nephew. 

“Aunt Sansa!”

“Hello darling!” She squeals taking Ben in her arms as they come inside, “How was the show?”

“It was so cool!” He starts to ramble of excitedly as Robb makes his way over to Jeyne, pecking her on the lips. 

“I hope you know you’re the one getting him ready for school tomorrow,” she warns her husband, before she makes her way over taking her son in her arms, “Isn’t that right daddy??”

“I’m tired.”

“I know baby. We’re going home.” Jeyne glances to Robb who stands in place and she can see the tension in her brothers face. 

“Go ahead. I just need to talk to Sansa.” She feels her heart drop as Jeyne and Ben bid a quick goodnight before leaving them alone. 

“You haven’t looked like this since you told me Mum was sick...” she stammers, walking over to the sofa and sitting down. 

“Sansa we were late tonight because the paparazzi showed up looking for you.” She feels sick to her stomach as she hears him speak. 

“What.”

“I think it’s for the best if we keep our distance. For the next bit. Till everything dies down.”

“Robb-“ She stands her heart pounding in her chest, “That could be years, the movie isn’t even finished filming-“ “I have to protect my family- My _son_,” he snaps and she steps back, swallowing. “You had to know-“ “I think you should leave. Wouldn’t want to keep them waiting...”

She had always known there would be a price to pay to follow her dreams, but she wasn’t sure it would cost her family. The only family she had left. Parents dead. She only had Robb, Jeyne, and Ben left and now they were gone. She gets to set six hours later, completely exhausted. She wasn’t sure if she had it in her, but it was all she had left. She gets pissed as hell though when they tell her her Co Star is running behind, just getting to set. “Ms. Stark-“

“Where is he.?”

“Sorry?” Her assistant chirps out standing there nervously, and she gets up, pulling her hair back over her shoulders. 

“I asked where he is. I’d like to have a few words before we film.” 

“His trailer, I believe.” 

She’s livid as she storms across the set to his hair and makeup trailer. As she walks in, they all turn towards her in surprise. “Am I interrupting?” She quirks, his team shaking their heads. “Can we have a word alone?” She sets her gaze on Jon, who continues to type away on his phone, not even noticing her. After a second of hesitation they all finally file out, and he looks up noticing her. 

“Sansa-“ “I get it. You’ve already done it. Everyone takes one look at you and they fall to their knees. Anything for _the_ Jon Snow! But some of us want to actually earn people’s respect. Some of us, are giving up everything to be here and don’t appreciate having their times waisted by pompous asses!” She shouts angrily before she can realize what it is she’s saying. It’s invigorating though.

“Sorry...” She blinks at him like an idiot, having been bracing herself for him to yell right back. Waiting for him to demand her being removed immediately. An apology just leaves her dumbfounded. 

“Sorry?” 

“That’s what I said.” He laughs lightly, standing up and walking over to her. “I don’t typically make it a habit to be a pompous ass, as you put it. My mothers in hospital and it’s an hour drive each way,” he explains, immediately making her feel even worse. 

“I um... I didn’t know...” she murmurs, her gaze falling to the ground in shame. “Now I feel like the pompous ass.”

“I should’ve warned you. It isn’t fair that you have to suffer for my poor scheduling.” She doesn’t even know what to say exactly. She feels terrible. 

“I’m sorry... I’m just. I’m going to go- Take your time,” she rambles off stepping towards the door, stepping into a counter in the process. She curses under her breath, her cheeks becoming flushed. 

“You alright?” He asks stepping forward, his brow furrowed a small pitiful smile on his perfect lips. 

“I’m just going to go, while I have some dignity left.” Her hand finds the door and she takes her chance to escape as quickly as possible. 

She’s still entirely flustered when she walks onto set a couple hours later. Of course today was _the_ scene. The scene that the _entire_ movie was based on. The stupidly tense romantic scene. 

“You’ll do fantastic,” Jenny repeats as she touches up her makeup as they stand off to the side. 

“Yeah I hope so.” She takes a deep breath composing herself as she walks over to her mark beside Jon. 

“Ready?” He whispers under his breath, catching her off guard yet again. 

“Am I ever?” She mumbles as they hear the director shout and it’s go time. 

She steps past him, stepping through the door. “Sophie if you would just listen to me-!” “About what Kit??” She turns on him, throwing her arms up in frustration. “I have been your best friend since we were five. I have been right there next to you through every hardship, every trauma, every goodbye! I can’t keep watching you try to kill yourself! I _can’t_...! It will _break_ me if I do it again!” Tears of anger fill her eyes as he stands there looking defeated, her chest rising and falling with heavy breathes.

“And what should I do...? Walk away? Abandon them??” He steps towards her, the distance becoming suffocating. 

“You seem perfectly capable considering how many times you’ve abandoned me!” She shouts refusing to back down, “So take your pick! But I _refuse_ to be the pathetic…-!” She falls short unable to find the word to describe them. “I _won’t_ be the one to get _that_ phone call...” 

“It’s all I’ve done since I’ve left home! I fight and I keep fightin and fightin until I don’t know who I am without it! I don’t know who I am without it...!” Tears brim his eyes, as he stands there. She steps forward placing her hand over his heart. 

“You are Kit... You are my wonderfully brave, and funny Kit. That person is still inside you... I see it every time you smile- Which isn’t enough... But you are still a _person_...” She breathes looking into his deep grey eyes. “You are still _my_ person...” 

His arm loops around her waist, pulling her into his chest, their lips crashing together. Her hand reaches up, cupping the nape of his neck holding his lips to hers, deepening the kiss. He pulls away after another moment, resting his forehead against hers with his eyes closed as her thumb strokes the curve of his cheek. “You... Whatever choice, my answer will always be you. I choose you,” he breathes, the two of them staying tangled together. 

“Cut!” The immediately detangle from each other, and she finds herself having to remind herself that this is work. This is her job and nothing more. Until today they hadn’t even said a single word to each other outside of a scene. They were strangers, but damn. She understood where he got his reputation now. 

“That was something else...” Margaery whispers as she leads her over to a chair. 

“Oh...?”

“I’ve been on a lot of sets, but that was something else you two just did.”

The next twelve hours go by fairly quickly and she almost enjoys herself. She notices Jon making an effort to talk out scenes before they shoot, asking her for her input, even making a joke here and there. It was like he had become a different person to the one she had known the last week. She was exhausted as she slips out of her trailer, her hair piled into a knot on the top of her head, dressed in sweats. She looked terrible, felt terrible, but she was comfortable.

“Sansa! Hey!” She stops in her tracks turning to see Jon jogging towards her. 

“Hey...” She smiles softly, “Thank you for today, by the way.”

“Please don’t thank me. It’s what I should’ve done from the start. I typically make more of an effort to know my costars. And that usually includes a drink.” She raises a brow, thanking the darkness for hiding the flush rising in her cheeks again. It had been easy to ignore his looks before when he was acting like an ass, but not that he was being kind- now that she was vulnerable. It was all kind of difficult to ignore it now. 

“You don’t um... Have to go see your mother?”

“Visiting hours ended an hour ago... And if I’m honest you look like you could use one.” The smile on his face is almost shy as he stands there, his words making her laugh. That was a bit of an understatement.

“And where exactly would we go for this hypothetical drink you’ve proposed?” She inquires, taking a step forward, her grip tightening on her bag strap. 

“My trailer if you aren’t sick of them by now?” She purses her lips considering her options for a moment before nodding. 

“That would be great.” 

“Great.” They make their way back to his trailer and she notices its considerably bigger than her own. It’s nice as she glances around. She sets her bag down on the table, sitting down on the cushion as he walks over grabbing a bottle of whisky and two glasses. 

“Hope you don’t mind, I don’t have anything else,” he explains sitting down across from her. 

“Somehow I figured you a whisky man,” she teases as he pores them each a glass and he stifles a laugh. 

“That predictable?”

“Hardly. Nothing about you makes sense in the slightest,” she admits as she takes a swig from her glass, the alcohol burning her throat. 

“I was impressed by you today,” he starts, and she feels her embarrassment growing from the pit she had suppressed it to all day, “Not many people stand up to me anymore.”

“I didn’t mean to be such a prick about it... I had a long night,” she admits praying he doesn’t notice the pink tint to her cheeks. 

“Now that we can agree on.” He raises his glass and she follows, both of them taking another drink. They fall into a silence but somehow she finds it a comfortable silence. 

“You don’t have to answer, but when you say your mothers sick...” she pries, her curiosity getting the better of her. 

“Stage Four Brain Cancer...” he answers with a haunted look in his eyes. She reaches forward taking his hand, wanting to offer him some small comfort. 

“I’m sorry... I know what it’s like...” 

“Your mother-?”

“Father,” she clarifies, “Stomach cancer. Never even stood a chance. My mother had early onset Alzheimer’s. Died within a year in a half, bout a year ago. I know it isn’t easy.”

“Well they have a lot to be proud for.” Her heart flutters in her chest as she withdraws her hand. 

“That’s kind... But I think it would break their hearts to see what happened to their family,” she says as she takes another swig of her drink. 

“It isn’t an easy life...” he mutters, catching her attention, “It takes a lot out of you. Out of your family. Not many people can understand and those who do either don’t care or don’t trust you.” She laughs nodding her head in agreement. 

“You aren’t wrong.” 


	2. Hard Times

“And that’s a wrap!” Everyone claps loudly as they wrap on the set, everyone beginning to say their goodbyes. She hugs every member of the crew that she can manage, tears rolling down her cheeks. It was strange for it to be over. She had put so much of herself into this project. 

Tears roll down her cheeks as she makes her way to her trailer, looking around as she starts to pack up the rest of her things. She’s collecting her photos from her vanity when there’s a knock at the door. “It’s open!” She shouts without a second glance. 

“You weren’t planning on leaving without saying goodbye were you?” She rolls her eyes as she straightens up, turning to see him standing there. 

“Won’t I be seeing you tomorrow? For lunch?” She reminds him, unable to hide her smile any longer. He always managed to make her smile, even if he wasn’t trying. She never imagined someone like Jon Snow being the most genuine person she had met on the set, poor introductions outstanding of course. 

“Aye, but it just seems different this time I guess... Like a chapter is closing,” he admits sitting down. Maybe this really was the end of a chapter for them, maybe it's the beginning of something else, she can't help but think.

“Your mum again?” She asks softly as she sits down across from him. He nods hesitantly, his gaze unfocused, like he’s a thousand miles away. She knew she was the only one he could talk to about all this. He had briefly mentioned a half sister, but he didn’t feel comfortable sharing things about a mother they didn’t share. So she tried to be there for him. He needed someone to unburden himself with. “Want to talk about it?”

“Every time I go... It’s like there’s more of her missing. Less of her still there. And I’m just forced to sit there and watch the my only family _die_,” he says bitterly, his hand curling into a fist. 

“I’m sorry...” She didn’t know what else to say. When she lost her father, she still had her mother, and when she lost her mother, she still had her brother. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to loose the person who raised you, all on their own. 

“I just wish I didn’t have to do it alone. I know Rhae would come if I asked, but I don’t think my mother would want her there...” She takes a shaky breath, reaching forward hesitantly and placing her hand over his. 

“I’m here if you need someone,” she offers. She probably wasn’t the person he wanted it to be, but she had learned someone was better than no one. 

“Thank you, but I couldn’t-“

“You aren’t asking. I’m offering. I know part of what your going through. No one should go through it alone,” she states adamantly. “You don’t have to accept, but don’t decline, because you feel like a burden. You’re not. You’re going to see her today, aren’t you?”

“Sansa, if you don’t have the time that’s okay...”

“If you don’t want me there, just say it. Otherwise I’ll go.”

“Okay,” he relents, turning his hand over so they’re holding hands. Meeting his gaze she feels a sense of ease, his grey eyes never ceasing to give her comfort. 

“Now help me pack my things?” He nods his head, the two of them working in silence at the put her remaining things into boxes, one by one carrying them out to her car. “I’m going to take this all home, then I’ll head to your place.”

“Thank you Sansa.” 

“We loners have to stick together,” she jokes gently, trying to lighten the mood. It was no secret they were known as fairly private people, as much as they could manage, being ‘famous’. She never did like that word. 

“You’re picking lunch. I hope you know that.”

“Never can accept help, can you?”

“Nope. My mother always said I’m a poor learner.”

“I’ll see you in a bit.”

The air changes as they pull up to the private home, Jon tensing as he shifts the car into park. Only a week ago his mother had been moved into hospice, having nurses with her twenty four hours a day. “I know this sounds cruel, and I know you don’t want to hear it, but soon, she won’t be in pain anymore...”

“You sound like Alayne.” One of the nurses, the other Emily. 

“When my dad... My mum told me after, that he had been ready to let go for so long. He only stayed for us... I read somewhere afterwards that nine times out of ten, it’s them waiting for us to be ready...” He nods, opening the door and they head inside. She follows him closely, a beautiful dark skinned woman opening the front door and letting them in.

“She awake?”

“She’s had a good day. Been asking to sit by the piano.”

“Thank you Emily.”

“Anytime.” She removes her coat, hanging it up on a coat rack, following Jon down the hall to a sitting room. Her gaze immediately landing on the frail looking woman seated on the bench, staring at the keys. 

“Mum.” She turns towards them, a small smile gracing her lips as she sees her son. She elects to stand in the doorway, not wanting to intrude more than she should. 

“Jon... Look at you, my handsome boy,” she smiles, cupping his cheek as he kneels down beside her. 

“What’re you doing in here? You should be resting...”

“I miss the music,” she murmurs in a wishful tone. She raises her hand to the keys, trying to press them, her hands shaking. 

“I’m going to get your meds.” He stands up, glancing to her and she nods before he leaves the room. She walks forward hesitantly, Lyanna moving her gaze to study her. 

“Jon told me about you...”

“He told me about you too,” she smiles. “Do you mind?” She asks, motioning to the other empty half of the bench. Lyanna nods and she sits down. 

“I used to play before I had him. Jon never had much interest... In another life I wanted to sing...” 

Slowly she reaches forward, thinking of the only song she knew she could still play. It had been so long since she had touched a piano. Her own mother had always loved music. She had insisted both she and Robb take lessons since they were young, which inevitably led to voice lessons. 

“_High in the halls of the Kings who are gone, Jenny would dance with her ghosts. The ones she had loved, and the ones who had found, and the ones who had loved her the most...” _She continues to sing softly, Lyanna trying her best to sing along, the biggest smile sitting on her face. She runs out of breath quickly, but she still happily sits there listening. The music made her seem younger, less worn by the world and her illness. By the end, tears of joy roll down her cheeks. 

“You have a beautiful voice,” Lyanna compliments her. “You play well too.”

“Thank you...”

“Lyanna dear, time to head back to bed.” Emily appears with a smile on her face, the elder woman nodding sadly, letting Emily lead her away. She helps her get to her feet, catching sight of Jon frozen in the doorway, his eyes glazed over. 

“She’s a keeper,” Lyanna informs him not so subtly as she passes him. A small smile pulls at his lips, pressing a kiss to his Mother’s head. 

“Get some rest.”

He stays where he is as he waits for his mother to leave, slowly blinking away his tears before he walks over to her, now standing by the piano. “I um... I don’t think I’ve seen her that happy since...”

“It’s okay,” she assures him, “It used to help my mum. When the dementia got bad, music always seemed to ground her.” He doesn’t say a word, tears returning to his eyes. She doesn’t hesitate to step forward, hugging him tightly. 

“I’m sorry...” he chokes out as she holds him, his face buried into her neck. 

“You have nothing to apologize for, this would be a lot for anyone.” So she holds him, thinking about how strong he’s been, going through this on his own. Hopefully he wouldn’t have to anymore, if she could help it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goal is to upload Tuesdays and Thursdays!


	3. Chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things go down

“Sansa! Sansa over here!” She plasters a smile on her face as she poses there in front of the cameras on the red carpet. She didn’t understand what people thought glamorous about it. It was just uncomfortable above anything else. 

She lifts the skirt of her black ball gown as her agent waves her down the way, placing a hand further down her back then she would’ve preferred. Baelish was a necessary evil as Jeyne liked to put it. She was starting to wonder just how necessary he really was. “Just answer few questions before we head inside,” he instructs, maneuvering her over to the line of journalists, waiting to pounce.

“Are you-?” Too late. 

“Sansa it’s so great to meet you! I’m Elena.” The blonde introduces herself and she offers her a small smile. 

“Hi... Great to meet you.”

“Well can I just say you look fantastic.” 

“Thank you...” She laughs lightly, smoothing the dress over subconsciously. 

“So this last year has been huge for you. Staring in a Season of Silence, tonight the premier of X-Men, and the teaser poster for your new picture, A Winter Rose, with Jon Snow just dropped. What’s it like having such a big shift?”

“Um yeah... It’s a lot but I am so grateful for every opportunity I’ve been offered. My job is everything to me and so many people have been so supportive,” she answers nervously, playing the perfect part she always had to show. 

“I’m sure plenty of people are wondering is Jon actually that good looking in real life?”

“No,” she answers smirking, “and I say that because I refuse to feed that ego of his. Jon, I love you, but you have plenty of women fawning over you without me doing it,” she jokes lightly, the blonde journalist laughing along with her. 

“Congratulations again. And good luck tonight.”

“Thank you.” 

She’s completely drained as she makes it inside the theater, not really paying the movie much attention. Especially considering she had lived through it already. She just wishes she could be home. She’s been on press for the last six weeks straight, it was taking a lot out of her. 

In the car on the way home her phone keeps going off and she sees a half dozen articles various people had send her over the last three hours. Half of them starting rumors that she and Jon were dating, the other half blowing her comment completely out of proportion. “You couldn’t just go along with it,” Baelish hisses at her from where he sits across from her. 

“It’ll be over in a few days.” She rolls her eyes, dismissing him. She was getting tired of the way he treated her, as if she was some idiot child he needed to tame. 

“We should release a statement.”

“About what exactly?? Jon is my friend. He knows I was joking.”

“This isn’t the kind of attention we want-“ “And what kind of attention do you want me to have exactly?? A week ago you were trying to get me naked on the front page of a magazine,” she snaps, not having the energy for this anymore. They pull into her drive and she doesn’t hesitate to get out of the car, carrying her heels in her hands. “Goodnight Baelish,” she says, slamming the door behind her. It wasn’t what she had imagined. Coming home to this big empty house, lonely. She was so lonely these days. Six months had passed since she had said a word to her brother. Life was truly becoming miserable.

Tossing her shoes aside, she walks over curling up on the sofa as her phone starts to ring. She answers without even glancing at the ID. “Thanks for speaking so highly of me.” She hears Jon’s voice from the other end and she groans, her head falling back onto the cushions. 

“Not you too... You’ve got to know I was joking-” “Sansa I know. _I_ was only teasing,” he reassures her as she reaches up pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Sorry, I’m half asleep right now. The premier was miserable. Especially alone.”

“What about it?” She can hear him shift the phone, probably siting down. She just sighs, pinching her own between her ear and shoulder as she begins to undo the intricate braid they had formed. 

“It’s just overwhelming-And it doesn’t help with Baelish and his wandering hands- A year ago my life wasn’t anything like this. Nothing big of mine was out. I could walk down the street without security.”

“Hey, I’m always here.”

“Thanks... How was your day? How’s your mum?” She achieves her goal, her hair falling freely of her shoulder as she moves her phone to her hand again. 

“Let’s just say it won’t be much longer.”

“If you need anything just tell me. I know what it’s like.”

“Honestly I think I’m just ready for it to be over. She’s in so much pain- I don’t want to see her suffering.” She purses her lips hearing the emotion in his low voice. 

“Well I’m actually home for once.”

“Shocking,” he jokes, but she rolls her eyes. 

“I’m serious.”

“Thank you Sansa...” Before she can say anything else she can hear someone knocking at her back door. 

“Hold on. Someone got through security.” Even living in a heavily secure neighborhood with twenty four hour security people had still managed to make it to her door more than once. With the Paparazzi she would give them a chance to leave willingly before calling security and arresting them.

“People normally just get through?” He asks and she vaguely remembers herself mumbling a response. Opening the back door she drops her phone to the ground. 

“Oh my gods what’re you doing here??” She screams excitedly as she jumps into his arms. He catches her around her waist pulling her close, laughing in her ear. 

“You think I was going to miss out on your first big premier?” He laughs as she pulls away ushering him inside. 

“Oh my gods, you should’ve told me. I probably look like a mess!”

“You look beautiful. And I brought gifts.” He holds up a bottle of wine and she just shakes her head as she leads him to her kitchen. Was her relationship with Jon confusing as hell? Absolutely. Was he the only real friend she had made in this industry so far? Yes. Was she falling head over heals for him? Entirely. 

She grabs two wine glasses from the cabinet setting them down on the counter. “I can’t believe you came...” she utters in disbelief for the thousandth time, as she sits down across from him. 

“I remember my first big one. Train wreck. I was miserable afterwards. My sister had to show up and get me out of a funk.” 

“More on this allusive Rhaenys I’ve yet to meet,” she teases as he pores the red liquid into her glass. 

She had heard plenty of stories on his half sister he had reunited with in high school while she was studying pre law. Now she was one of the top defense attorneys in Westeros. She sounded incredible from what he said. “You two would get along.”

“Oh I’m sure we would. So what’s this rumor I hear that you’re dating Val?” She asks hesitantly, trying to pass it off as a joke. 

“Ah Yes. We’ve been secretly dating for the last year and we intend to be married by the end of the week. It’s so secret in fact that we didn’t even know.” She nearly chokes as she starts to laugh, but it felt good. She couldn’t remember a time with Jon where he didn’t make it his mission to get her to laugh. Otherwise though, there wasn’t much of it. 

“So congratulations are in order?”

“Honestly I don’t know where they get some of these ideas from...” he chuckles, “I’ve never even met her!”

“I mean I can see it,” she admits shyly. 

“You can?”

“I mean she’s attractive, you’re...” She fumbles over her words, quickly becoming flustered to his amusement. 

“Sansa Stark, are you saying you actually find me attractive?” 

“I mean I’m not an idiot,” she stammers, tempted to run at this point. He shakes his head, standing up and walking over to her. “You really are enjoying this aren’t you? I mean I know I’m not exactly-“ She starts to ramble off in the way she does when she gets nervous. 

“You are incredible,” he whispers as he cups her cheek in her hand, drawing her lips to his, kissing her. Immediately she melts into his touch, relishing the feeling surging through her body. This was such a bad idea, but it felt so good. She stands from her stool, his arms wrapping around her waist pulling her closer as her hands thread through his dark curls, a moan escaping him. And then he pulls away, still holding her closely. He closes his eyes, leaning forward resting his forehead against hers. “You. I choose you.”

“You are such a dork!” She laughs hearing him say the line from the first time they had kissed. 

“I’m serious Sansa... You’ve made these last months livable again...”

“You’re really sweet, but will you stop talking and just kiss me already?” 

He doesn’t say a word, following through with her request as he kisses her again more passionately. Her hands find the hem of his shirt, pulling it up over his head tossing it aside. She stands there for a moment, studying every dip and curve of the toned muscles in shock. She knew he was built, but this was something else.  She doesn’t get long to study as his hands find her waist, lifting her up onto the countertop, his lips finding the nape of her neck. He was intoxicating. “All I’ve been able to think about all night is ripping that dress off of you...” he whispers in her ear. 

“I have to give it back,” she scolds him, using what little restrain that she has left. He was addictive; six months was all it had taken for her to realize she needed him forever. 

The next thing she knows they’ve both stripped down to nothing and she’s falling into her bed, him on top of her. Gods does he make it feel so good. She’d never had a men worship so thoroughly, making her peek with his tongue and fingers before his cock. His mouth is magical. More than she could’ve ever imagined it these last six months. “Gods you’re more beautiful than I ever imagined....” he whispers against the curve of her neck, her legs wrapping around his hips and pulling him closer. Her hands pressed firmly into his back, his own pressed into the mattress on either side of her. She knows the alcohol had something to do with it, but she couldn’t find it in her to regret what they were doing. Chances were nothing would ever come of it, but at least she could say it happened once. 

“I’ll have to go soon...” he whispers softly, his fingers tracing soft circles into her skin as she lays there in his arms, “Last thing we need is the world finding out.” She feels herself go cold at his words. So he already felt the regret.

She pulls away from him, pulling her sheets over her body as though he hadn’t just thoroughly ravished her. “Yeah, it’s probably for the best,” she stammers, walking over to her dresser and pulling out a worn T-shirt she had stolen from someone. She can hear him climb out of the bed, as she pulls the shirt on to cover herself. _What now? _She thinks. Where do they go now that they had tainted a perfectly good friendship for what? For sex? Mind bogglingly amazing sex, but still just sex. She needed a person more right now, it wasn’t as if she could talk to her vibrator- She could- but that would be a bit concerning.

“_Sansa_,” His voice is barely a whisper, her skin dancing with electricity as his hand grazes against her arm. 

“Thank you, for coming.” She can’t even look at him. She can’t look to see the regret in his beautiful grey eyes. 

He leaves that night without another word. And it’s a real hit to her system when she doesn’t hear from him for a week after that. It’s like he’s just fallen off the face of the planet. Even the paps seem to have lost sight of him. It hurts, she’s even tempted to text Jeyne, but she learning to accept it. A phone call close to midnight though wasn’t a normal occurrence, so begrudgingly she answers, afraid something might’ve happened to her family. “Hello?”

“Sansa? Sansa Stark?” The voice is familiar, but she can’t place where from. 

“Who is this. How did you get this number?”

“It’s Samwell Tarly. We met once before I believe.” Jon’s publicist. 

Her eyes go wide, sitting up in her bed, flailing around to flip on the lights. “Sam, please tell me you’ve heard from him. I’m starting to worry.”

“He’s safe.” His words do nothing to ease her worry in the slightest. To be safe, he would’ve had to have been in a bad place- in danger. 

“What happened...?” Her voice is barely audible as she croaks into her phone, feeling a fear she hadn’t in a long time. 

“His mother passed. About a week ago. Two days ago now, he checked himself into rehab...” And that’s what it takes. A less than dignified sob escapes her lips, tears welling into her eyes. She usesher hand to cover her mouth, trying to muffle her cries, but something tells her that Sam hears anyways. 

Just because they hadn’t spoken, didn’t mean she hadn’t stopped caring for him. She loved him in one way or another. They had relied so closely on one another these last six months. She thought they talked about everything, but clearly they hadn’t. Clearly it wasn’t enough considering he hadn’t called her when his mother died.“I um, Rhaenys... Have you called his sister?” She forces herself to speak, pulling herself together even just for the moment. “She should know-“ “She knows... She was the one who thought I should call you.” She looks up, taking a shaky breath, closing her eyes.

“Thank you, Sam... For calling,” she whispers softly, wiping tears from her cheek with her sleeve. 

“I just wanted to call and tell you, your on the list of approved people to see him. If you want the chance.” She bites her lip, stopping herself from answering immediately. She needed to try to think clearly right now. 

“I... Maybe it wouldn’t be the best. I don’t want to draw attention to this. He needs to heal. He can’t do that with paps and journalists lurking around every corner...” It’s what he needs. He can’t get better with the entire world watching so closely. And selfishly, she needs him to get better. 

“Of course, it’s a wise choice...”

“Sam?” She chokes out, trying to keep herself from balling again, “Can you tell him something for me?”

“Of course.”

“Can you... Can you tell him I love him?” There’s a long pause, and she’s forced to listen to Sam inhale slowly. 

“Course I can...” He finally answers, easing some of her worry. 

“Thank you...”

“Try to get some sleep, Ms. Stark. It’s been a long night for all of us.” She nods, hanging up her phone, feeling more alone than ever. Her parents are dead, she doesn’t have Robb and Jeyne and Ben, and now there’s a chance she could loose Jon. The thought is dizzying. _How was I ever content like this? _She wonders. Not even six months ago she was entirely content being alone and focusing on her work, and now Jon Fucking Snow had creeped past her wall and left her in pieces. She was a fool, a lonely fool at that.

She’s dialing the number before she even gives herself a chance to stop, to reconsider. She _needs_ someone tonight, the silence is deafening.“Sansa?” She inhales sharply, hearing her sister in laws voice. She wasn’t even sure she would answer. 

“I hope I didn’t wake you...”

“No... No I was up,” Jeyne lies. And she knows she’s lying. She and Jeyne had been best friends since they could talk. She knew her lies, but right now she could find it in herself to care, or feel guilt for waking her. “Everything alright?”

“No... It isn’t,” she admits, holding onto the emotion rising in her throat. She didn’t want to cry again. She was tired of tears, but still they somehow escaped. 

“Lovey, what happened...?” Jeyne asks gently. 

“I know Robb will be pissed, but I really need a friend right now...”

“I’ll be there in twenty.”

“Thank you...” 

She paces circles around her house the entire time she waits for Jeyne. She feels restless and helpless to do anything. So she paces, because she needs to do something. She can’t just sit. There’s a soft knock at the front door, and she rushes over opening it, starting to cry again as she sees Jeyne standing there. Jeyne steps forward, pulling her into an embrace and she feels like she can breathe. A weight she didn’t know she had been carrying, flowing away. “Thank you...”

“Course...” She steps aside, letting Jeyne inside and closing the door behind her. 

“How pissed is Robb?” She asks hesitantly as they walk over to the couch, sitting down. 

“He’ll get over it,” Jeyne waves it off. “Now what happened...?”

“I don’t know...” It was the most honest answer that she could give right now. “I don’t know... Everything- It’s just so complicated right now Jeyne.”

“Just take your time...” Jeyne takes her hand in hers, squeezing it comfortingly. 

“I wish...” She starts, closing her eyes, “I wish that I could be there for him. I wish that I could help him, because he’s in pain, and I _can’t_. Not without possibly hurting him.”

“Is it about _Jon_...?” Jeyne asks seeming surprised. The last time they’d talked in person, she will fully admit, she wasn’t his biggest fan. Jeyne and Robb never read the tabloids, and tended to ignore rumors. She would tell them the truth and that what they would go with. 

“He’s been there for me... After... We’ve talked everyday for the last six months and then last week we fucked it up... We fucked up Jeyne...” Tears roll down her cheeks freely now. _Porcelain, Iron, Steel, _she reminds herself. It was her mantra she had lived by for so long now. It’s how she survived so much death. 

“How? How did you mess it up?” 

“I slept with him...” she whispers, unable to meet her sisters gaze. “We slept together and I think he regrets it. I think he regrets me. And now he’s in pain, and I don’t know how to go to him...”

“Do you? Regret it?”

“No... we haven’t talked in a week though. And I _miss_ him.” Gods, it was so unfair how much she had missed him this past week. 

“And who initiated it?”

“I mean, he kissed me, but I don’t know after that...” She chews on her lip, trying to calm herself down. She didn’t need to get so worked up. Jon was safe and that’s what mattered. 

“Okay... He initiated it, now matter where it went, I think it's pretty certain he cares for you. That was a week ago though, so did something happen today?” Jeyne deduces so quickly, she hadn’t realized how much she missed her wit. 

“His publicist just called- they’re close friends. Known each other since university I guess- Anyways. His mother passed last week I guess, and then he told me, two days ago, Jon checked himself into rehab... I get this is about him, and what he needs,” she acknowledges, “but I thought he would’ve called. And he didn’t...”

“And you don’t want to draw attention to him, by going to see him.”

“Exactly.”

“I have an idea.”


	4. Rehab

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY
> 
> BONUS CHAPTER (Thank my mom)
> 
> Some people were saying that they didn't see Jon's alcoholism, and that's kind of the point. He's basically at the point where he can be legally drunk, but he still seems completely sober, except when he binges, which is what happened after his mum passed. Mental Illness and Addictions aren't always so obvious.

Jeyne’s plan was ornate. That was the only way to describe it, but it worked to her surprise, more than anyone’s. A wig, and a body double later, she was watching Alys lead the paps away to the studio, while the SUV drove away with her still in it. It’s an hour drive to the rehab center outside of the city. With Sam’s help, she had gotten Rhaenys number, and they had been messaging back and forth. She figured a warning is the most courteous thing she could manage, if she did get caught.Walking inside, she keeps her head down, her hood up, the blonde tips of the wig showing. As soon as she steps inside the building she’s met with a silence, a security guard waiting to collect her phone, before he leads her to the front desk. They took security seriously here. “Name?”

“Sansa?” She turns to see a dark haired woman, warm skin, blue violet eyes. Instantly she knows who she is. They look fairly similar in the smaller details. She pulls her hood down, stepping towards this woman hesitantly. “You really went all out.”

“You have no idea.” Rhaenys smiles, stepping forward and pulling her into an embrace. It takes her a moment to hug her back, but there’s a sense of relief. 

“I wasn’t sure you’d actually come.”

“I need to see him...” Rhae nods, pulling away and turning towards the large guards, standing there waiting for instructions. 

“Sansa, is here to see my brother. _Privately_...” Rhae instructs them, one of the men nodding, motioning for her to follow. 

“Thank you.”

“Thank you for coming.” She does her best to smile, before following one of the guards through a set of double doors. She’s lead down a hallway to a well furnished room, with an enclosed balcony overlooking the lake. 

“Wait here.” It isn’t even a question, nor would she consider it much of a statement, as the door swings shut leaving her alone. She walks around the room, running her hand along the furniture. She catches sight of herself in the mirror, cringing at the blonde hair on her head. Her hair had always been red. Seeing it tucked away with no sign of it to show, was strange. 

“What’ve you done to your hair?” She whirls around to see Jon standing there. She freezes for a moment, taking him in. His wild curls seemed more untamed, deep circles under his eyes, his skinpale, beard grown out. How could so much change in two weeks? But then the moment passes and she rushes forward, pulling him into a tight embrace, breathing him in. 

He was okay...

"I'm sorry," she chokes out.

For a second she’s afraid he won’t return the embrace, still unable to forgive her for what they had done, but then he’s clinging to her for dear life and she wants to cry. “You're sorry? I'm the idiot that shouldn't have said what I did. didn’t think you would come...” he breathes, twisting her heart in a way she didn’t know possible. 

“I’ll always come,” she vows, pulling away from the embrace, cupping his cheeks in her hands, staring into his grey eyes. “Always.”

“I should’ve called you.”

“Yes. You should’ve, but I’m just glad you’re safe,” she assures him, tucking a stray curl from his face. His hand reaches up, playing with the tips of her now blonde hair. 

“What is this..?”

“My disguise,” she teases, “Didn’t need the whole world having a fit if I came.” A smile pulls at his lips, if only for just a moment. 

“I like it the way it is...” She feels her cheeks grow warm. 

“I’d take it off, but it took an hour to get it on properly.”

“It’s alright... Something to look forward to I guess.” It pains her to see such a sadness in his eyes. How could she not have seen it a thousand times over? Everyday she would look into those eyes and she hadn’t even noticed. How could she call herself his fri- 

“Don’t blame yourself...” he whispers, pulling her hands from his face, intertwining their hands, leading her over to the cushioned sofa and sitting down. “My demons are my own burden to carry... And with my mother gone, I didn’t want to poison you too. It was just easier to bury myself in the alcohol...” She purses her lips, her gaze falling to their hands, willing herself not to cry.

“That’s what I thought... And I can’t help but think about all those times we sat there together-“ “Sansa... It’s not your fault.”

“You could’ve told me,” she chokes out, “I could’ve helped you. I’d do it in heartbeat.”

“Sweet girl,” he reaches up, brushing a tear away with the pad of his thumb, “You did help. More than you know... You deserve better than a drunk man blind with grief.”

“I should’ve known,” she states firmly. She didn’t consider herself a stupid person, but this? She should’ve put it together sooner. All she could think about were the nights they would sit drinking and she would wonder when he would stop, but not say anything. So many times she was concerned, and so many times she stayed silent. 

“Sansa, I don’t blame you...” She sighs, glancing towards the window, staring at the crystal water that seemed to go on forever. 

“Did you... Have you talked to Sam...?” Her heart pounds in her chest as she turns towards him. 

“I did...” He smiles softly, “And I want to be in the right frame of mind when I tell you the same.”

“I love you, Jon... Take all the time you need to take care of yourself. I’ll always be here for you.” He cups her cheek gently, leaning forward and pressing his lips to her forehead. She closes her eyes, savoring his touch until he pulls away. “How long will you be here...?” She asks nervously, chewing the inside of her cheek.

“I dunno... I think I just need room the breathe right now... Will you come see me again...?” He shifts nervously, looking like he’s waiting for her rejection. 

“Is that what you want?”

“You don’t have to-“ “Jon. I’ll come,” she promises, running her thumb over the back of his hand.

“Thank you Sansa...”

“It’s the least I could do after how much you’ve been there for me this last year.”

“How are you?” She stifles a laugh, astounded with how he can be concerned with her, when he’s in rehab right now. 

“I’m better... Now that I’ve seen you. I was a wreck when Sam called...” He sighs, tugging at his raven curls. 

“He said you didn’t take it too well.” Now she just feels guilty for worrying him so much. 

“_Jon_, I’m okay. Just take care of yourself right now.” 

“I just worry about you being alone.”

“I’m not.” She tries not to take it personally with the skeptical look he gives her. “I’m _not_... I have my family. We’re working things out,” she explains, doing her best to put him at ease. 

“And Baelish? He’s behaving himself?” She was surprise he remembered her confession from that night. She purses her lips, unable to look him in the eyes. Baelish was a whole other concern that had managed to pop up in the last few weeks. He was getting braver, and she was getting more concerned by his behavior. But he knew just what to say to bully her into submission, every time she threatened to fire him. He would ruin her entirely if she fired him, and she knew he had the resources to do it. So he got his way, especially now that Robb or Jon weren’t around everyday to make him back off. Her loneliness was making her vulnerable.

“Has he _touched_ you.?” Jon’s words are colder than she expected, especially with the bluntness. 

“It doesn’t matter,” she brushes him off, standing up and walking over to the balcony, crossing her arms as she studies the soft waves lapping over the beach. 

“_Sansa_.”

“He’d _ruin_ me Jon. And he’s perfectly capable of it,” she snaps, refusing to look at him. She wouldn’t be able to look at him without crying again. Something about this stupid man, and his grey eyes, made her want to spill her soul to him. And that’s just what she’d do, because she’s selfish like that. She had this habit of not being able to look him in the eyes and lie to him. 

“Talk to Rhae...?” He begs softly, not even attempting to close the distance between them. “She can help you Sansa. She’s dealt with creeps like Baelish before.”

“_Littlefinger_...” She murmurs bitterly, the word sour on her tongue. 

“Who?” She huffs, running a hand through her blonde hair, turning to face him, not moving closer. 

“It’s what the women who work with him, call him. _Littlefinger_. Since he has a tendency to... _do_ things to them-“ He stands up, balling his hands into fists, “He hasn’t done it to me. I swear. He isn’t brave enough to try that yet.”

“I’m gonna kill him-“ “_No_. You’re not. You’re better than him.” She steps forward, wrapping her hands around his, trying to ease the tension from them.

“How do you expect me to stay here now, knowing what he’s trying to do...?” He sounds so defeated, lowering his head to rest his forehead against hers. 

“I am a big girl... And I only told you because I won’t lie to you, but I can take care of myself,” she whispers softly. “And if Baelish is ever a fool to try, there won’t be a place in Westeros or across the seas, that my justice wouldn’t find him.” She had sworn herself that much dignity. She would never be some silent victim. 

“Talk to Rhae _please_... Let her help...”

“I’ll talk to her...” Anything to ease his worry. “I should leave soon...”

“I miss you Sansa,” he melts into her, burying his face into her neck, his breath hot against her skin, her arms wrapping around him. “I want to be better for you...”

“You need to get better for yourself,” she counters. He needed to do this for himself so if he ever needed to, he could stand on his own two feet. “Do this for you Jon...”

“Then you take care of Baelish for you...”

“Okay... But you can’t worry then. You worry about you.”

“Okay...” She pulls away as someone knocks at the door. They’d probably been talking close to an hour now. She had to go before anyone realized it wasn’t her at the studio. 

“Jon. It’s time for your session.” A woman with short blonde hair stands in the doorway. She’s tall, but she seems kind enough. 

“Uh, Dr. Brienne Tarth, this is my- this is Sansa Stark,” he introduces them, stumbling over his words. She steps forward, shaking the woman’s hand, plastering a smile on her face. 

“Pleasure.”

“It’s my pleasure. Jon has told me so much about you, I feel as though I already know you.” She flushes, glancing to Jon. 

“Thank you...? I think.”

“Well I’m afraid it’s time for him to come with me. Feel free to come back tomorrow.” If Brienne recognized her, she didn’t give any clue that she did. It was kind of nice in all honesty. 

“Thank you...” She turns back to Jon, hugging him one more time. “Get better...” She mumbles softly, quickly pressing her lips to his cheek as she pulls away. She follows the guard away, glancing behind her to see Jon walking the other way. She feels like she’s been split in two. 

As she gets back to the reception area, it’s still empty aside from Rhae sitting there flipping through some files. As she walks out, Jon’s Sister looks up, smiling at her. “Well? Did he light up like a Christmas tree when he saw you?” She teases lightly as she sits down across from her. 

“I think my hair stunned him more than anything.” Rhae laughs lightly, nodding in agreement. 

“Since I’ve known him, my brother had an inclination towards girls with red hair.” She isn’t surprised by this admission, for some reason it just fit that Jon had thing for redheads. Plus his reaction made a lot more sense now. 

“So do you um... Make it a habit of sitting here...?” Rhae laughs, shaking her head. 

“No... Call it curiosity. I wanted to meet the girl Jon hasn’t stopped talking aboutfor months.” She takes a deep breath, glancing around the area to see guards standing at a stance. This all felt too public compared to the room she had just come from. “I was just about to head back to my place, care to join me for some lunch?” 

“I um...” she stammers, her brain flooding through the list of concerns that had become habit these last years. 

“Don’t worry. It’s in the middle of nowhere. Jon visits all the time.” She takes a deep breath, nodding her head. For someone who looked so intimidating, Rhae was nothing but kind. When she met Jon, she had expected for him to at least be respectful, but quickly learned that feeling in the pit of her stomach was her wanting to slap him constantly. Funny how time changes things. 

Walking into the house, she’s surprised with how similar the modern style is to her own. Jon wasn’t understating things when he had told her how successful of an attorney Rhaenys is. She had imagined some things, but this, was something else. 

“Babe, I’m home! I brought a friend!” A handsome man appears from down the hall, something about him seeming extremely familiar. “Sansa, this is my Fiancé, Willas Tyrell. Willas, Sansa,” Rhae introduces and she shakes Willas hand, finally registering why he was so familiar. 

“You don’t happen to be related to a Margaery Tyrell, do you?”

“My little sister,” he flashes a smile. The longer she looked at him, the more she decided he was pretty looking. Jon, even unkept, seemed more handsome in the manly sense. “You know her?”

“We’ve met on a few different sets now.” Margaery Tyrell was someone who liked power, she had figured out that much about her. She would flash smiles and bat her eyes to anyone to get what she wanted. She liked pulling strings behind the scenes. She can’t help but wonder if her brother is the same. 

“I’m afraid I’m the black sheep of the family,” he offers, as if he can read her mind. Margaery and Loras were two pees in a pod. And from what it seemed, they’d cut out their brother. “Anyways. Have a lovely time. I have to leave for a meeting.” He walks over to Rhae, pecking her lips before slipping out the door they had just entered through. 

“What does he do?” She asks, curiosity getting the better of her as they walk through the house. “Willas?”

“He’s an Agent. Mostly does contracts and such.”

“So do you know much about this industry?” She tests the waters, lingering on the other side of the grand countertop in the kitchen. 

“Too much...” A solemn look spreads across Rhae’s features, a look that in truth doesn’t fit her goddess like features. 

“Jon thinks... You might be able to help me,” she starts hesitantly, lowering herself onto one of the chairs. Rhae turns from where she had been pulling dishes out of the cabinet. 

“Are you in need of an attorney Ms. Stark?”

“I’m starting to think I might be...”

“Come with me,” Rhae leads her from the kitchen, down the hall to a large office. She walks around her desk, sitting down, motioning for her to take the empty seat across. “So how bad is it? For my brother to be so worried?”

“I wasn’t going to tell him, he has enough to worry about and I told him he didn’t need to-“ “Sansa,” Rhae leans forward, clasping her hands together on the desktop. “It’s okay. Jon is not someone who takes to change easily. Especially when change is out of his control and it has to do with someone he loves. He would be worried regardless.”

She takes a shaky breath, nodding her head as she tries to process Rhae’s words. The way she had so easily implied that Jon loved her, her heart fluttering uncontrollably. She wishes it was that simple. “Littlefinger.” By the looks on Rhaenys face, she’s clearly heard the name before. 

“Don’t you worry... I know exactly how to deal with him, but it is dangerous. I can get you free, but this could get entirely ugly. You need to tell me now if there’s anything he would use against you...” She purses her lips as she meets Rhae’s gaze before glancing to the floor. 

“What wouldn’t he use against me...?”

“Take your time... This can’t be easy.” She stifles a laugh; that was an understatement. And right now all she wants is Jon to be there with her. 

“I um... I had this abusive boyfriend my first year at university. I was still no one, going to auditions and getting no call backs. One day I spilled to my mother and she reached out to an old friend- An Agent. Petyr Baelish... 

“I was young and stupid and alone in Kingslanding- This was before my family moved closer when my mum got sick- So I told him almost everything. And then after my mum died, I started to realize his intentions weren’t so _pure_. And he’s going to ruin me.”

“Sansa,” Rhae interrupts hesitantly, “Has Petyr Baelish ever forced you to do anything without your consent?”

“Nothing terrible.” Rhae’s face is grim as she sits back in her chair. “His hands like to wander and he’s kissed me once or twice, but-“

“Sansa. I am here to tell you as a women, you do not have to accept this. Some part of you believes that you do, but you deserve better. You deserve better than your ex, and you deserve better than Littlefinger.”

She’s entirely exhausted by the time she gets home, thoroughly enjoying being able to pull the blonde wig off. But she does something that night that she hasn’t in a very long time. She gets down on her knees and she prays. She prays for Jon to find peace and stay strong through this. She prays that Rhae finds a way to find her freedom, she prays for her own freedom. She prays that the gods protect her family and those she love from whatever is to come. 


	5. Escaping

“Hello?”

“Sans, where are you?” Her brows knit together, hearing her sisters voice on the other end of the phone. 

“About to do press, Why?”

“Someone leaked about Jon’s rehab to the press. The story is everywhere.” Her eyes go wide as she glances around the room to her assistant, motioning for her phone. She gives her a look of concern before passing it over and she immediately opens twitter. She lowers herself into the chair as she sees his face everywhere. 

“Shit... _Shit_. Who did this?”

“Arryn ran the story first. It’s everywhere now though now,” Jeyne answers and it takes everything in her not to scream. 

“Alright, I um. I have to go. Thank you for calling.” She hangs up without even waiting for her sisters goodbye, immediately starting to collect her things from around the room. 

“Sansa, you’re supposed to go on in twenty-"

“Please give Varys my deepest apologies, but there’s an emergency and I have to go.” She knew Baelish would get pissed with her baling on such a big interview, but right now she needed to get to Jon. 

Security helps to shield her from the cameras as she leaves the large studio, Lea following behind as they step into the SUV. She takes a deep breath as they pull away. She was probably making things worse right now, going to him, but she needed to see he was okay. If he even knew anything. It wasn’t like he had access to a phone or computer in rehab. She leaves messages for Rhae and Sam just in case. The story had only broken a few minutes ago, but was like wildfire. And the last thing she needed was someone asking about him during a live interview. It takes about an hour to get to the rehab center, needing to take a longer route to loose any paps that tried to follow. 

As she walks inside, she’s immediately waved back by a security guard. It was something new. She’s lead back to another room and she walks in to see Rhae, Sam, and Jon already there. “Sansa...” A look of relief spreads across his face as he steps forward, embracing her tightly.

“I came as soon as I could...”

“Are you okay...?” She asks, pulling away to get a better look at him. Of the three other times she had come to see him that month, he looked better than he had before. His beard was trimmed down closer to his jaw, his wild curls pulled back into a bun. 

“We always knew there was a chance...”

“I um, hate to interrupt, but we need to get this statement out soon.”

“A statement?” Jon sighs, placing a hand on the small of her back, leading her over to the couch. She takes a deep breath, fidgeting with the rings on her fingers, realizing she’s still dressed for her interview. A white jumpsuit, black belt, her red hair loose but slicked back. Entirely overdressed for this, but there was no time to change. 

“We have to get ahead of this, Sansa. Not addressing this, even just to ask for privacy at this time, could be detrimental.”

“This shouldn’t even be a conversation we have to have. Who would leak this anyways?” She looks around the room, Rhae and Sam’s gaze looking to the floor. 

“That, doesn’t matter right now,” Jon takes her hand gently, “Sansa, I’m alright. I’m hardly the first person to be in this kind of situation... Sam knows what he’s doing. Right now this is the best thing to do...” She knows exactly when people are trying to change the subject. She knows that action well. People always trying to coddle her from the truth. 

“What aren’t you saying...” She pulls away from his grasp, her heart pounding against her ribcage. 

“Jon, you need to tell her,” Rhae whispers softly. 

“Tell me what?” _Arryn_, the name runs through her head. Jeyne said that the Arryn press was the first to leak the story. Vaguely she remembers her mother telling her that Littlefinger had an illegitimate son with Alayne Arryn, Harry Hardyng. And Harry Hardyng worked at the Arryn press. “Oh gods... This is because of me,” she realizes, feeling like she’s going to be sick. 

“Rhae, can we have a second?” She vaguely hears Jon, the two others filing from the room a moment later. “Sansa, look at me,” he whispers softly, cupping her cheek in his hand. 

“He did this, to punish me for fighting him... He’s hurting you to hurt me.!” 

“Sansa, this isn’t your fault. If it’s anyone’s, it’s mine, I told you to fight him. And he isn’t someone who likes to be challenged, but you are. You’re going to fight him; you won’t back down.”

“My freedom is not worth your suffering,” she counters as tears well up in her eyes. 

“Do I look like I’m suffering to you...?” He laughs lightly, and she studies his features carefully. “You are not some little bird to be put in a cage, Sansa... You are a Stark, and Stark’s are wolves. Be a wolf...” She leans forward, wrapping her arms around him, hugging him tightly. He returns the embrace, relaxing her a bit. “I missed seeing your hair...” She can only laugh at his soft words, feeling his hand tangle in her hair gently. She starts to wonder when they became two halves to the same soul. 

“Is it nice, being able to escape?” She wonders aloud now. She knew this wasn’t just a vacation for him, it had taken its toll, but every time she came, she enjoyed the quiet that followed. Something about this place was peaceful. 

He pulls away, a halfhearted smile pulling at his lips. “It’s nice, when it comes to the quiet. But there’s no privacy here, it’s just a different kind of intrusion. I don’t miss the chaos of the paps around every corner, I don’t miss being able to drink myself into oblivion. I do miss working though. I miss nights at Rhae’s. I miss calling you at any hour of the night... It’s things I didn’t appreciate before that I miss...” She understood what he was trying to say. They were the same thoughts she had so many times. Both of them missed just being humans, and not people of extraordinary measure. 

“Where will you go...? After all this, you can’t just go back to how it was.”

“Where will _we_ go...?” He’s hesitant with his words, but almost hopeful. A hope in his eyes that she hadn’t seen in so long. A hope she never wanted to see leave his beautiful eyes. “If that’s-“

“Where will _we_ go,” she affirms. It was a beautiful thought, the idea of escaping. Even just for a little bit. 

“I look forward to it...” She reaches up, placing her palm against his face, her thumb caressing the curve of his cheek. 

“You, Jon Snow, are so brave, and gentle, and strong. And I’m so proud of you, for doing this. For recognizing you needed help. Not everyone can do that.”

“Thanks to you... I know you think you never said anything, but I could see it in your eyes. Your worry... I mean Rhae and Sam would tell me they were worried, but the way you would look at me. It was like you were afraid for my life...” he admits, wiping away tears she didn’t realize she had shed. She never dreamed it was possible to know someone who saw her soul so easily. Who accepted her so fully. 

“We’ll get through this,” she finally realizes. 

“We will.”

“Together.” The perspective of it all finally seems to sink in. A career was a career, they would come and go. But people were what mattered. Life wasn’t a bunch of calculated decisions that should be made by someone else’s design. It was time for her to live for herself. 

“You _stupid_ girl, I’ll ruin you,” Littlefinger threatens, but she just laughs as she glances to Rhaenys seated beside her. 

“Mr. Baelish, should you so much as come near my client with any more of your threats, you will find yourself on the receiving end on the less than flattering investigation with the Kings Guard.” She doesn’t know how Rhaenys can be so fearless with men like this, but she had her suspicions. Jon had shared more than one unflattering story of his father. He sounded like a fairly cruel man. 

“I'm a slow learner, it’s true,” she acknowledges, “but I learn.”

“Sansa, please. You’re making a mistake. Who has cared for you all this time?? After your mother-?!”

“Goodbye Mr. Baelish,” she stands, Rhae following behind. “Thank you for all your many lessons. I will never forget them.” She walks away, not looking back for a second. She knew that Baelish wouldn’t just let her go, but her image to the rest of the world didn’t matter anymore. What mattered was that her family and the people she cared about thought. 

Climbing into the car waiting outside the office for them, she pulls out her phone, scrolling through her texts to the one Jeyne had just sent. 

** _Jon Snow seen with Rumored Girlfriend Sansa Stark_ **

_ Two months after reports broke that Jon Snow, 28, had checked himself into rehab for stress and alcohol, the star was seen with reported girlfriend, Sansa Stark, 23. The couple was seen outside his Kingslanding home, looking all smiles as they joked around happily. _

She laughs. Every article that came out about them seemed to point out the difference in their age. Because for some reason that was the biggest catch about their not relationship. They had both decided for the time being, it was best that they stayed friends. He was still dealing with his alcoholism, and she was dealing with Littlefinger. 

Her phone starts to ring and she answers as soon as she sees his name appear on the screen. “Hey, I was just thinking about you.”

“Were you? How’d it go?”

“As expected. Now it’s I guess it’s just time to ride it out and whether the storm,” she sighs, running a nervous hand through her hair. There was a very good chance that things could get very bad. 

“Well it’s a good thing we won’t be here then.” She can’t help but laugh. In less then twelve hours, they and their families would be heading to Dorne. Robb, Jeyne, and Ben were all coming. Of Jon’s family, his Aunt Daenerys, her husband, and four kids would be joining them, as well as Rhae and Willas. Two weeks at a private resort in Dorne only accessible by helicopter, would be a dream. 

“I can’t wait. It sounds so nice...” It was a little odd that they would be the only two adults on the trip that weren’t an official couple. She was looking forward to getting to know the rest of Jon’s family. He talked about Dany all the time, they were closer to siblings being so close in age. Plus she would finally have time to spend with Benjen. He was growing up too quick. 

“Dany is coming a day later. One of her clients had some emergency I guess, and Rhae is flying with Willas.”

“You can fly with your family.” The Targaryens came from old money, especially compared to hers. Each of them were electing to take a private jet to Dorne, while she and her family were taking a plane. 

“Now why would I do that?”

“Um... To be with your family?” That’s her answer, but the truth was she was nervous about Jon and her brother meeting, an hour before they were on a plane for five hours. If things went badly, they would be stuck and she would be the buffer. 

“Sansa, it will be fine,” he assures her. 

“It’s Jon isn’t it?” Rhae smirks, looking up from her tablet she had been tapping through. 

“Is that Rhae?” He asks, probably hearing his sisters voice in the background. 

“Jon says Hi.”

“I didn’t-“ “Tell him he can suck it.” Her eyes go wide and she stifles a laugh.

“What did she say??” She pauses for a second trying to keep her composure before she answers him. 

“What did you do?” She asks hesitantly, knowing he would only get upset if she started laughing. 

“Why do you assume I did anything?”

“You know exactly what you did!” Rhae counters before she can respond to him, clearly hearing through the phone. 

“You can’t just-!” “Alright! I think that’s enough. I’ll see you tomorrow morning. I’ll pick you up, My _brother_ and his family will meet us there,” she reminds him, her tone saying _please don’t fuck this up._

“Right sorry... I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.” She hangs up, pointedly looking to Rhae to explain what the hell had happened between them. 

“He’s a ridiculous child.”

“How...?” She pries, really not enjoying the idea that this argument would follow them to Dorne. 

“He and Danny got in this fight, and honestly he got kind of... _childish_ about it.”

“Great. Just before the trip.”

“Dany asked him about his girlfriend and her family coming with, and Jon being Jon, gets defensive-“

“Because Daenerys called me his girlfriend? And that’s why you’re having a family implosion?”

“Child.” She rolls her eyes, agreeing with Rhae silently. 

“I’ll talk to him...”

“Let him figure it out on his own. He’s being an idiot.”

“Uhuh...”

She wakes up at three the next morning, getting ready as quick as she can manage, completely exhausted. She tugs her hair into a ponytail, not really bothering with much makeup. She collects her bags, the car pulling into her drive around four thirty. It’s a ten minute drive to Jon’s and then they’re on their way to the airport. “Apologize to Dany and Rhae.” It isn’t even a question, closer to be an order as she responds to a few emails from her assistant.

“Not you too,” he groans. 

“You’re seriously about to start a family civil war just before we’re in the middle of nowhere together over a misunderstanding??” She snaps, getting annoyed with him. Did he really think it was such a bad thing? They’d talked about dating before, but had he changed his mind now?

“Sansa...” He sighs, taking her hand in his, his thumb tracing small motions into her skin. “I got defensive, because when it comes to you, I get defensive. And I got defensive about you because when Dany was talking about you, she didn’t refer to you in kind... I wouldn’t just start an argument over nothing.” 

“Oh...” It’s all she manages to say, feeling like the idiot now. “I’m sorry. I should’ve-“

“It’s okay. It was wrong that Rhae brought that up in front of you to begin with... I promise you, this won’t ruin the trip.” He brings her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles softly, making her smile. 

“Okay...”

“So you’re worried about me meeting your brother then?” He changes the subject, and all she can do is groan, leaning back into the seat. “That bad?”

“He is... _protective_ after the shitty boyfriends I’ve had previously,” she says, choosing her words carefully, somewhat aware of what she's implying, and she watches him closely for a negative reaction, but he just nods.

“Then we should get along perfectly.” It should be impossible how happy he made her. Every time she was with him, she knew she would smile at some point, even at the darkest points. 

“True, but there’s still my nephew,” she adds, teasing him. “He is not a fan of sharing his Aunt Sansa with anyone.”

“I’m sure I can win him over,” she rolls her eyes not even bothering to reassure him. The one time Benjen had met Joffrey as a baby, he had screamed and kicked the jerk right in the nose. It wasn’t long after that she managed to escape the lion. 

They were both aware that they would likely get recognized in the airport, but considering the world already thought they were dating, they kind of just accepted it. Not to mention they had hired extra security. Luckily her family had already gotten to the airport and was waiting in the lounge. “You ready?” He asks her as they pull up, the air shifting between them. They were nervous.

“As ever.” They both pull up their hoods, keeping their faces down as Jon swings the door open, climbing out. It’s clear so far, as she scoots out, taking his hand as they step down from the car. It isn’t until they’re heading towards the entrance that the flash starts. One of the first things she had learned when she started to grow in popularity was to always have sunglasses, or the flash would be blinding. 

They’re ushered through a back hallway towards a security check point away from the general population. “You alright?” She asks, his hand gripping her hand so tightly it was numb. This was the most attention he’d had since before rehab and they’d made a mistake of going to a bar one night. They had both nearly been mobbed. 

“Fine, Sorry,” he mumbles, sounding ashamed as he releases his hold on her hand. 

“Jon. Hey,” she places a gentle hand on his shoulder, turning him to face her. He was closing in on himself. She had seen it happen a few times, when the conversation would sway too far form comfort at his rehab. Dr. Tarth had asked her to attend one of his sessions one day, and he had completely flipped. He backed himself into a corner in a meltdown, hyperventilating. And just by instinct she had stepped forward and hugged him tightly. Halfheartedly he had tried to push her away before caving to the embrace. He had been so afraid he had scared her afterwards, but the only fear she felt was for him. “Can we have a second?” She addresses the security, who nod and file from the room, waiting for them in the hallway. “Talk to me, what’s going on in that head of yours?” She asks, gently tucking a stray curl from his face. He finally manages to look up at her through his glasses, his eyes watering.

“I’m sorry...” His voice is thick with emotion, sounding like a child ashamed of what they had done. “I didn’t mean-“

“No... It’s okay,” she wraps her arms around him tightly while he stands there stiff as a board. “Jon, it’s okay. We’re okay...” She repeats, over and over again before he finally clings to her. “Just breathe...” It takes him a few minutes before he manages to pull himself together. It’s a good thing they had gotten to the airport early. 

They make it to the lounge and she breathes a sigh of relief, as she catches sight of her family sitting in the corner. She rushes forward embracing Jeyne tightly, while Benjen lays asleep on top of her brother. “Thank gods you made it, someone just passed through and said it was a madhouse out there.”

“We got lucky. How long have you been here?”

“Someone insisted we get here by three thirty...” Robb answers, glaring at his wife. He stands up, holding his son in his arms and hugs her with his free arm. “Hey Sansy.”

“Ugh. Don’t start.” Her childhood nickname was less than flattering and the last thing she wanted was for Jon to here it. 

“Gods, he’s even better looking in person,” Jeyne fawns, her gaze planted on Jon who stands awkwardly to the side a few feet away. 

“Be right back.” She walks over to him, pulling him to a corner, seeing him still stuck in his head. 

“They’re going to hate me,” he mumbles, rubbing his pant leg nervously. 

“Stop it, they’re going to love you. They don’t have a choice. Okay? Just be yourself and they won’t have a problem.” It was something she didn’t think the general public noticed often, just how introverted just how many quote on quote ‘celebrities’ are. They were good at their jobs because it meant they could be someone else, they didn’t have to be themselves. But when they were themselves, that was the scariest part, because there was no character to hide behind. 

“Jon, this is my sister in law Jeyne, and my brother Robb,” she introduces them nervously. 

“It’s fantastic to finally meet you.” Jeyne jumps at the opportunity, offering out a hand which Jon shakes hesitantly. 

“You too, Sansa has told me so much about all of you,” he smiles, slowly growing comfortable. Her gaze shifts to Robb, begging him to be kind after everything. 

“Thank you for keeping an eye out on this one. She can get herself into quite the situation,” Robb teases, shaking Jon’s hand as he nods. 

“Of course. Though she doesn’t really need my help. She takes care of herself just find.” Everyone seems to get along perfectly. By the time that they’re boarding the plane Jon and Robb are talking like they’ve been friends for years. 

“Geez Sans, if you don’t marry him, someone will,” Jeyne whispers in her ear, teasing her. The effect isn’t a feeling of humor though. It just reminds her how much people love Jon. How a majority of women across the world want to claim him as theirs. 

They find their seats, Robb, Jeyne, and Ben are in the first row of first class while they’re seated in the row behind them. And lucky enough no one had booked the third seat, so they get the row to themselves. She lets Jon sit close to the window, so that if they moved the curtain properly, he would be hidden from view. She couldn’t figure out why exactly that there were curtains, but it was nice to hide from the whispers and cameras. 

“This is going to be great...”

“Just try to relax, it’ll be over before you know it...” 

An hour into the flight he’s worse than Benjen with his fidgeting as he positions himself into the corner. “_Jon_.”

“Sorry...” He apologizes and she feels terrible for getting frustrated. Especially when she can hear the drink carts making their way around. That probably wasn’t helping matters. “I’ve never actually been sober on a flight before,” he whispers softly, making her feel even worse. And it makes perfect sense. 

“No. I'm sorry... Here,” she reaches up, pulling her ponytail loose, letting her auburn hair fall around her shoulders. She had only done this once before, but it helped him to relax. Without a word he shifts sideways in his chair and starts to plait small braids into her hair, over and over again. To her surprise she actually finds it relaxing, feeling the soft tug of his fingers as he works a knot. He does this for about an hour while she just sits there silently. Eventually he relaxes enough to fall asleep and she’s not far behind him. When she wakes up it’s about two and half hours later which means they’re halfway through their flight. Jon is already awake, doing a crossword, letting her sleep on his shoulder. She peaks out from around the curtain, spotting the bathroom before turning back to him. “I’m going to the bathroom, will you be okay?”

“Sansa, I’ll be fine. Thanks...” She nods, standing up and stretching for a minute before heading up to the bathroom, making it a second too late as a mother slips in with her child. She sighs, leaning against the wall, glancing around to see a few cameras on her, and more than a dozen gazes. 

“Is it like this everywhere you go?” Robb appears, stepping between her and everyone else. 

“Basically...”

“Some bloke came over to you guys when you were asleep, tried taking pictures of you together. Told him unless he wanted a lawsuit on his hands, he should head back to his seat.” Her heart pounds in her chest. It wasn’t exactly surprising someone would do such a thing, but she was grateful Robb was there. Guess having a federal agent in the family finally seemed to pay off after all. 

“Thank you...”

“He seems like a good guy. A bit jumpy, but a good guy.” She smiles softly hearing her brothers words, taking a chance to glance around him towards Jon. Benjen is standing over his seat, talking to Jon while Jeyne sits there supervising. Her heart flutters as she hears her nephew laugh. 

“He is...” She finally agrees. “He really is.”

When the plane finally lands after five hours she’s never been more relieved. The humidity of Dorne is immediate, even more extreme than Kingslanding and she immediately finds herself craving the cold of the North. It would always be home, but so many ghosts lived there now, it was hard to look back. “Aunt Sansa, is it true that we’re going on a helicopter?” Ben asks excitedly, clinging to her hand as they walk through the airport. It was empty compared to the bustle of Kingslanding, but they still had two large security guards with them.

“Yes we are! Isn’t that exciting?!” Not that exciting for her, but probably for a toddler.

“Is Jon coming?” She smiles like an idiot. 

“I am,” Jon answers for her, Ben immediately taking Jon’s hand in his free one, so he walks between the two of them. Jeyne and Robb are walking behind them, bickering about something. 

“Uh oh... You know what that means,” she teases mischievously, glancing to Jon to see if he’ll catch on. 

“What? What does what mean?”

“One... Two...”

“Three!” Jon finishes and they each lift Benjen up in the air, swinging him and place him back on the ground, her nephew finding the entire thing magical as he laughs. By the time they get to the helicopter pad, Benjen is hysterical with laughter. 

“That was so much fun!” He shouts, happily running over to his mother to tell her about it all. 

“Thank you,” She turns to Jon, as they stand there in the heat. 

“It was nice. I mean I basically have four nieces and nephews. I love kids...” It probably isn’t as big of a deal as she makes it in her mind, but he loves kids. 

“Me too...” This was definitely going to be a longer conversation at a later point, but for now it was time to get in the helicopter. This time she’s the one who’s a complete wreck, her hands wrapped around the edge of the seat, her knuckles white. Every time there’s the slightest bump, She flinches, clamping her eyes shut. She had been in a helicopter before, and the entire time Joffrey had teased her. It wasn’t pleasant. She manages to relax though when Jon places his hand over hers, squeezing it comfortingly.

It all seems like a blur as their shown around the estate, being shown the large rooms they would have, open to the beautiful tropical world surrounding them. She sits in her room for a while, before searching through her bag and finding her swimsuit.  She has a pool in Kingslanding, one she had cared for properly at every opportunity, but almost never used. Something about the serenity of this place though, tempted her. So she found herself walking outside to the pools, wearing the black bikini Jeyne had helped her select. 

_ If you don’t marry him, someone will. _

She swallows, sitting down on the ledge of the pool, testing the shockingly warm water. “Hey stranger.” She nearly jumps out of her skin as she hears his voice, placing a hand over her racing heart. 

“Dear gods. Don’t make me put a bell on you...” she teases, making him laugh as he sits down beside her in his swim trunks. 

“Sorry... Still a bit tense then?”

“Let’s just say helicopters and I have a... _complicated_ history.”

“But your fine on a plane?”

“A plane is sealed. It’s perfectly plausible to fall out of a helicopter at any moment,” she argues unable to stop herself from smiling, as he watches her with an amused look. “And I sound absolutely ridiculous, don’t I...?” She flushes. 

“No... Not entirely. Thank you by the way... On the plane.”

“It’s okay... It was a lot. Even for me. And I haven’t been hidden away from the rest of the world.” She regrets her words as soon as she’s said them, seeing the smile on his face falter. “I um... I didn’t mean it like that...”

“Sansa, it’s okay. It’s true...” He falls silent, turning his gaze towards the miles of jungle surrounding them here. It was all so green and beautiful. “Hey, um. How’d you figure out the hair thing by the way?” He asks sheepishly, and she smiles again. 

“Rhae might’ve mentioned you’re preference of my hair color, and I know it always relaxes me. It gaveyou something to do to distract you, didn’t it?” She watches a flush rise in his cheeks. 

“She told you about that?” His voice is huskier than before. 

“It’s kind of amusing actually... Not that it’s weird, that it just seems to fit you so perfectly.” Seeing him so embarrassed she can’t help but laugh. She never imagined a day she would see Jon Snow so flustered. 

“Sansa?” She meets his gaze, seeing different look in his eyes than had been there a moment ago. 

“Yeah?” Her heart flutters. 

“I think I’ve fallen in love with you...” This was different. She had told him she loved him before, but that could be interpreted in different ways. Being _in_ love with her. That was something else. 

“Oh...” _Nice Sansa, really nice, _she scolds herself. That was probably the worst answer she could’ve given him. The man after so long, had just told her how he really felt, and this was all she could say?

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have-“ He starts to pull away and she panics. She grabs his wrist, pulling him towards her, kissing him. At first he seems too shocked to do anything, but after a moment his arm wraps around her bare torso, pulling her to him. Gods how she had missed touching him like this. 


	6. I'm Right Here

She was half asleep sitting in his arms by the fire, her head resting against his chest listening to the steady beat of his heart. It still felt funny considering that not even a day ago, they were dancing around each other like idiots still. And now here they sat with Robb and Jeyne, Rhae and Willas like this was how it had always been. These moments in paradise would stay with her forever. This place where they could just be people with the people they loved. A dream that would end eventually, but not yet. 

“So when do your Aunt and her family arrive Jon?” She silently curses Jeyne for bringing up Daenerys, as she feels Jon tense against her. 

“They should be here tomorrow afternoon,” Rhae answers for him. 

The first thing Rhae had done when they got there earlier that morning, and she had waisted no time slapping Jon across the cheek. Willas had immediately pulled her away, while she rushed forward to see if he had actually been harmed. He hadn’t, thank the gods. She and Willas had then taken it upon themselves to drag them into one grand rooms, forcing them to sit and discuss. Jon had begrudgingly repeated the not so kind words, that Dany had used to describe her, not wanting to speak them with her there. And not so kind they were, basically referring to her as a whore in simplest terms. Rhaenys had immediately apologized, realizing Dany had left some key points from the argument. And that seemed to settle it for the time.

“It’s okay, my love...” she whispers softly into his ear, only for him to hear. His hand finds hers, interweaving their fingers before she feels him relax again, while Jeyne and Rhae chatter back and forth. Ben stirs from where he lays on one of the sofas sound asleep, Robb and Jeyne taking it the sign for them to head to sleep. 

“So you two look cozy...” Rhae finally comments, leaning into her fiancés side, smiling like a Cheshire Cat. 

“Rhae, please...”

“Can a sister not inquire on her baby brothers happiness?”

“Not after she so easily places me in the dog house without proof of guilt,” he quirks in response, and she purses her lips to stop herself from laughing. “Honestly, your a lawyer for gods sake.”

“I said I was sorry...! Jonathan I love you, but for a great deal of time it was just me and Dany and my mum.” It was a fair enough argument. Dany and Rhae has grown up together, they had only known Jon the last ten years. 

“It’s getting late...” His voice is gruff and she takes it as her cue to climb off of his lap, even though she doesn’t want to. She’s tempted to follow him, but decides to let him have his space for a bit even though she worries. 

“One thing you shall learn with time, Sansa, is how very complicated the Targaryen blood is.” She didn’t even need time to understand that. Jon had told her enough. 

“With all respect Rhaenys, he might be your brother, but he is a Snow,” she states clearly. Targaryens played no part in raising him, his mother had done that all on her own, and she’d made him a wonderful human being before she passed. No Targaryen could take credit for that. When Rhaenys doesn’t say anything she takes that as her time to leave, bidding them both a goodnight, before she makes her way to her room. On her way she passes Jon’s room. Something tells her not to knock, pressing her ear to the door tear heavy and painful breaths. It’s only then that she knocks softly. “Jon...?” Sound stops, the door swinging open a moment later, and even since he had just left, he looked worse.

“Please go...”

“I think not,” she counters softly, stepping closer, placing her hand over his heart. His grey eyes clamp shut, looking more conflicted than ever. 

“Sansa, I have an addictive personality,” he says stiffly, still refusing to look at her. “Just because I’m not drinking or taking pills doesn’t change that.”

“I know...” she whispers softly, but he only tenses against her further. 

“Sansa I don’t want you to be my new drug.!” He finally snaps. _So there it is, _she thinks. The reason why they kept the distance between them. He thought she was his new drug. 

“Jon, look at me... Open your eyes.” She had been waiting for this. The psychiatrists at his rehab had warned her. The ways his mood and temperament would swing, the longer that the alcohol was out of his system. The depression that would come with it. She had prepared herself for it. “Open them,” she orders and finally grey meets blue. 

“Sansa...” he stammers. 

“You are ninety days sober,” she says simply. “You are ninety days sober and I am _so_ proud of you. Because this is a different world than you’ve ever known. It’s scary, and disorienting. It’s okay to need help... Don’t let that head of yours tell you otherwise.” She cups his cheek in her hand, her thumb running over the curve of his bone. “Do not make harsh actions based on temporary emotions.”

“I don’t want to hurt you Sansa... I’m such a broken-“ “You are _not_ broken,” she states firmly. “You are strong.” She finally attempts to pull him into an embrace and he willingly accepts. If anything he collapses into her hold. 

“Thank you...” 

“Try to get some sleep...” She murmurs in his ear, pressing her lips to his cheek before she pulls away. “Just come get me if it’s all too loud.” She knew what it was life for the voices to be deafening. The only thing that seemed to drown them away was a physical person to reassure them the voices weren’t there. 

“Okay...”

“Promise me.” Instantly she can see him hesitate. “Promise me you won’t ever hide the truth from me again. Even if it’s ugly.” He takes a deep breath, leaning forward and resting his forehead against hers. She closes her eyes as they breathe the same breath. 

“I promise...” 

It’s probably around three in the morning when she hears the soft knock on her door, knowing exactly who it is. She mumbles for him to come in, and the next thing she knows his strong arms are wrapping around her, pulling her close. The hairs of his beard tickle against her neck, but having him there makes her feel safer with her room open to the world. “Are you okay...?” She asks softly as her hand intertwines with his. 

“I am now...” She nods, knowing he would tell her if it was otherwise. It isn’t long until she feels his breath even out as he falls asleep, and she does eventually. 

She wakes up before him, just as the sun comes up. Turning in his arms, she studies his features closely. He looks so peaceful asleep. People always tended to let their burdens fade away when they were asleep. She reaches forward, pulling some stray curls from his face. Her fingertips trace the edge of his jaw before finding his lips. Always so handsome. There’s a knock at her door and she sits up, walking over and opening the door. She sees Jeyne holding a half asleep Benjen on her hip. “Hey.”

“Hey. Just wanted to let you know that there’s breakfast. You have a pleasant night...?”

“We can talk later,” she promises. “Be there soon- possibly.”

“Gotcha.” Jeyne leaves and she closes the door behind her, making her way back over to her bed, with a sleeping Jon Snow. He stirs as she climbs into bed, his arm wrapping around her waist, pulling her close again. 

“Where’d you go...?” He mumbles into the pillow, his eyes staying closed.

“There’s breakfast.” His grey eyes peek open, meeting her gaze.

“Is there?” 

“Yes. You sleep alright?” She asks, caressing his cheek as she lays there on her side. 

“Aye.” He reaches up, taking her hand in his, pressing his lips to her palm gently. “Thank you...”

“Always... Now you want to stay here, or do you want to go get breakfast?” 

“And what is it that you want?” He teases, his gaze glancing to her lips. She leans forward, using her hand to draw his lips to hers. She rolls over, pulling him on top of her as he deepens the kiss, his arms wrapping around her waist. His tongue runs along her bottom lip. Moaning, she opens her mouth to him, exploring one another-

“Hey Sans! You coming?!” She groans as she hears her brothers voice from the other side of the door, Jon’s head dropping to her shoulder. 

“Screw off Robb!” She shouts, praying that he goes away as she tugs Jon’s curls, pulling his mouth back to hers. 

“Benjen is looking for you!” She groans, vowing to make her brother pay for this later. Gods she needs an orgasm. “And I would prefer my son doesn’t know how babies are made yet!” 

“Ten minutes!” She shouts at the door, Jon’s lips twitching towards a smirk. 

“Ten minutes?” He whispers to her, a mischievous glint in his eyes. 

“Best make quick work Mr. Snow.” And does he ever, somehow managing to get her to peak three times within that time span. Afterwards they take a quick shower, making their way into the kitchen about twenty minutes after Robb had come to the door. 

“Well you look... _relaxed_,” Jeyne teases as she sits down beside her sister in law, grabbing a bowl of fruit to eat with a piece of toast. 

“I’m going to castrate Robb the next time he comes to my door like that,” she warns Jeyne who just starts laughing as Jon sits down the table talking with Rhae. Benjen had somehow already dragged Robb into the pool. 

“He isn’t used to you being with anyone on the other side of that door... Did he really only take ten minutes?” Jeyne asks in a hushed tone so their not overheard. 

“Twelve, but I peeked thrice,” she admits relishing the look of surprise on her sisters face. 

“Good man...”

“Oh yes he is...” She smirks, her gaze traveling down the table. 

She wishes she could say that the rest of their day is as pleasant as their morning, but the moment that Daenerys arrives with her family. Instantly the tension returns to his body as his aunt arrives. “You know...” she whispers in his ear, “We could have some fun with this,” she says as they sit on the edge of the pool. He looks to her curiously, probably trying to figure out what she had in mind.

“And what is it that you have in mind, exactly?”

“Well, if your aunt wants to think I’m a whore... We could give her quite the show.” She watches his features go through a cycle of emotions, before his lips pull into a smirk. 

“Oh...?”

“Their room is next to yours, isn’t it?” She teases as she climbs onto his lap, straddling his legs. 

“You can be so evil sometimes,” he murmurs, his voice husky and eyes close to black. 

“Evil?” She laughs.

“Wearing this swimsuit for one...” he growls, pressing his lips to her collar bone, hair hands carding through his curls. “Gods the things I want to do to you.”

“Hey Sansa- Oh gods!” She slips back, falling into the pool, pulling Jon with her as she hears her brothers disgusted screams. By the time she breaks the surface of the pool, Robb is gone while Jeyne and Rhae had appeared and were hysteric with laughter. 

Jeyne and Rhae are still laughing about it an hour later as all the kids swim around the pool, Jon, Robb, and Drogo with them. Willas on the phone inside dealing with work, while they all sat in a circle. “So Sansa, it would seem my nephew is quite taken with you...”

“C’mon Dany. Must you start you interrogation when you’ve just gotten here?” Rhae scolds, and while she appreciates it, she doesn’t need Rhae defending her anymore. 

“I have a right to be concerned, you should hear the things that they’re saying about her!” Her heart drops, realizing that Littlefinger had waisted no time attacking her. She hadn’t touched her phone since she got on the plane three days ago. 

“What’re they saying?” She asks, her fear getting the better of her, Dany turning towards her in surprise. 

“Sans, don’t do this to yourself-“ Jeyne tries to stop her, but nothing can stop her now. 

“No. Tell me.” Dany doesn’t say a word, only typing into her phone before walking over and holding it out to her. Her stomach drops as she sees herself, laying in her bed, completely stripped down to her underwear, unconscious. She had never even seen these before. “Excuse me,” she whispers, running away as quickly as possible. She had been so sure that she had escaped Littlefinger untouched, but the more she thought about it, the more she felt like she was wrong. _When. _When could he have done it though? The better question should be when couldn’t he have done it. She had been so vulnerable to him these last years. He could’ve drugged her and she never would’ve known the wiser.

“Sansa!” Jeyne chases after her but she slams the door, locking it before running over to the toilet, emptying the contents of her stomach inside. “Sansa! Open the door!”

“What happened?” Robb.

“What did you say to her?” Jon growls, at who she can only assume is his aunt. 

“She didn’t do it Jon.” Jeyne. 

Her head is spinning as memories come and go, sorting through each of them before realizing the moment that Petyr Baelish had his way with her. And all she wants is to die, there and then. “Sansa...” Jon whispers softly, drawing her back to reality. “Sansa it’s just me... Please just open the door.” She wants to. She does, but she’s already too far down the rabbit hole of her panic. The voices just close in, suffocating her and the next thing she knows the darkness has closed in.

** _"X-Men Star Hospitalized _ **

_ It was earlier this morning that X-Men breakout star, Sansa Stark, 23, was hospitalized in Dorne. Not much is known on her condition and there has been no statement issued so far. The incident comes only days after news broke of Starks affair with former manager Petyr Baelish, 54._

_ It was only four days ago that Stark was scene at KLS with rumored boyfriend, Jon Snow, 28, recently out of rehab. The couple seemed tense as they were lead through by security. It is unknown if they are together at this time-"_

“Hey... How do you feel...?” Robb asks gently as she finally pries her eyes open, the TV being muted quickly. 

“How could I be so stupid...”

“Hey, you have done nothing wrong. And if it makes you feel better, Baelish was arrested an hour ago.” She wants to ask how, but a coughing spell overtakes her, her throat unbearably dry. Robb quickly offers her a glass of water and she manages to take a few sips to ease the fit. “Rhae is going to make sure he goes away for a long time for what he did to you.”

“No, it too... It’s too dangerous,” she stumbles over her words, her mind still foggy of what had happened. 

“San, you don’t worry about that monster anymore. Okay? He's going away for a long time.” Her eyes start to water thinking about it. Knowing it happened to her and she never even knew. It was strange what one photo could do to destroy ones peace of mind. “Jeyne is in the waiting room with Ben and Jon, if you think you’re ready to see them...”

“Jon’s here...?” There’s a sense of guilt that comes with her surprise. Surprised that he was here, waiting for an explanation, probably, that she didn’t have. All she has was a memory of a night that ended the moment she entered her home, waking up the next morning in her underwear, cold. She had never been so cold. 

“Of course he is...”

“I remember the night...” she chokes out, her heart pounding heavily, the monitor quickening with it. “It was about a month after the incident with you and Ben... He had gone with me to some party about a potential contract. We didn’t stay long, but he gave me a drink... I don’t remember much after I got home...” 

“Hey, you’re safe now. Just try to breathe... Want me to get Jeyne?”

“_Jon_... I want to see Jon first...” He nods, not saying another word as he stands and leaves the room. She doesn’t even know why it’s him that she wants to see first.

The next thing she knows he comes in, closing the door behind him. He doesn’t move closer than that though, looking frozen in place. “Did you see them?” She squeaks softly. “The photos?” 

“Aye,” he tenses, his hands forming into fists. She swallows, willing her self to be brave, finding it difficult to breathe. 

“Do you hate me...?”

“No,” he answers rather quickly, any of his anger fading away as he steps forward towards her. He sits down taking her hand in his. “No, Sansa. I could never... I _hate_ him.”

“Me too,” she agrees softly. There was no other way to describe what he had done to her. 

“You don’t deserve this Sansa, any of this...”

“I knew there was a chance. Fighting him...”

“This is all my fault, I pushed you to do-“

“Jon,” she stops him. “I will... _recover_,” she decides, choosing words carefully. 

“Are you afraid of me?” He asks shamefully after a moment of silence, refusing to meet her gaze. He tries to pull his hand from hers, but she won’t let him, holding tighter. 

“Never. I feel safest with you. With my family- people who I trust. It is those I don’t that scare me the most...” she explains, not entirely sure what it is she’s trying to say. Other than she knew one thing. She wanted him to stay, more than anything.

“I should go... You need to rest-“ “Stay... Please, Jon. Nothing has changed.”

“They will though Sansa, it'll change... But I’ll be here if you want me to.”

“Stay,” she reaffirms, Jon nodding, tightening his grip on her hand. 

Later that day she’s discharged, ordered to relax and strongly recommended to see a therapist once she gets home. She’d already texted Alys to set up an appointment with Dr. Tarth. She was the only one she trusted. 

Jon walks with her along the black sand of the private beach, the sun setting, turning the sky every kind of color. It’s breathtaking, picture perfect. She smiles, feeling his hand intertwined with hers. “Sansa.” He stops them in her tracks, turning her towards him, a look of fear in his eyes. 

“Jon, what-“ “I love you too...” he breathes, making all of the pain disappear for just that moment. She steps forward, cupping his cheeks in her hands, kissing him. She would be happy again. She and Jon would be happy together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEADS UP I will be uploading Monday/Sunday next week


	7. Therapy

“Hey,” she smiles softly as he meets her outside the office, both of them standing there uncomfortably. And it was uncomfortable. They weren’t exactly here willingly. Dr. Tarth has talked them into it. Convinced them they needed a check in after everything they had both been through. She had given them both some tangent about Jon being newly sober and her newly aware of trauma. A lot of things that could lead to problems with a new relationship. And that got them on board, because they were serious about this. They were all in. So they weren’t going to take chances. If a therapist thought they needed this, then they were going to do it. Didn’t mean they liked it though. 

“Sansa, Jon. Come in.” Dr. Tarth leads them into her office, motioning for them to take a seat across from her on an all too plain sofa, in an all too plain room. “It’s good to see you both.” She and Jon sit at opposite ends of the sofa, unsure of what to do. It was one thing being alone with the psychiatrist, another being her together. “Well how was your trip?” Jon had surprised her a few weeks after they’d gotten back from Dorne. And this time they’d made the right decision to go alone, just the two of them. A week alone in Queenscrown. It was beautiful, and wonderful, and peaceful. Just them, and all the worries seemed to fade away.

“It was nice,” she starts, unsure of what to really say. 

“Did you have a fight?” Dr. Tarth asks simply. 

“No. Why would you-?” “You’re seated across the room from each other. Your body language tells me you’re uncomfortable, and either your uncomfortable with each other or your uncomfortable with me. Now which of the two is it?” Dr. Tarth starts to laugh as they sit there in silence, neither one of them wanting to insult her in some manner. “Please, by all means. I’m not here to pass judgement. I am only here to advise you as I see. I’ve treated both of you, I know you mean a great deal to each other. And I know you wouldn’t want anything to put that at risk,” the psychiatrist explains gently. She feels herself breathe a sigh of relief, glancing to Jon before she moves closer to him. “Now tell me, how was Queenscrown? Better than Dorne?”

“_Yes_,” they answer in sync. Dorne had been beautiful, but it had been impeded by their family and then everything with Littlefinger. The rest of the week they were in Dorne, everyone spent fussing over her. Rhaenys insisted that she had Jon fly home with them, knowing the paps would be worse than before. 

“So what did you do? Ski? Stay in? I’ve heard the sunsets are beautiful in the North.”

“It was beautiful. And the quiet was nice.”

“Quiet?” The doctor inquires, Jon’s hand intertwining with hers, comforting her. Without even saying a word sometimes they could communicate perfectly. 

“Kingslanding is loud,” she explains. “There’s always someone wanting to know something they shouldn’t, talking about you. Opinions everywhere.”

“It kind of just fades away the farther we get. Just the two of us. It’s easier to breathe,” he continues, holding her closer. 

“Have you talked at all? About...?” She takes a slow breath, knowing exactly what the therapist was referring to. 

“We have,” Jon answers, smiling softly to her. 

“Sansa?”

“We have. A lot actually... In Dorne a few times. Once or twice while we were home, and once in Queenscrown.”

“And what did you talk about?”

“I talked about the night it...” She inhales sharply, resting her head on Jon’s shoulder. She’d repeated it a hundred times over now, it hadn’t become much easier yet. “Other times he’d... _crossed_ boundaries. Threats he made, the trial. Everything basically…”

“And he was arrested?”

“He was careful before,” she recognizes. “But I uh… I guess he was more careless with me. They could trace the photos back to him. My brother… He said Littlefinger must have been angry when he did it… Very angry.”

“Well he’s going away for a long time… You know that, right? He won’t come near you again…” Dr. Tarth tells her, and she knows it’s true logically, but she still can’t help the unsettling feeling.

“Sansa, he won’t touch you ever again,” Jon reiterates, and she nods, tucking her face into his shoulder, taking a few deep breathes. She didn’t want to cry anymore tears over this, but they just kept coming all the time, at any time. Not right now though. Right now she just focuses on Jon. She would always be safe with Jon.

“And Jon? How many days now?” Brienne asks, redirecting the conversation.

“A hundred and twenty eights days,” he answers with ease, and that makes her smile. She was so proud of him. He had some rough nights of late, but she would always calm him down enough to call his sponsor. After they would take a bath and he would wash her hair, doing his best to distract himself, and her hair was usually effective. And then he would be there to hold her when she would wake up after a nightmare. They held each other together. 

“And how’s it going? Your cravings?”

“They’re always worse here, in Kingslanding,” he admits and she had to agree. 

“I saw a date was released for your new movie. What’s it called again?”

“A Winter Rose.”

“Are you nervous? Soon you’ll both have press.” Both of them tense. Davos, Jon’s Agent, and her new one had called them the other day about the press tour. He had warned them. There was a lot of buzz about the movie, considering that they had been so prominent in the media lately. 

“Yes...” She purses her lips together, sitting up. 

“Perhaps it would benefit both of you to do some practice questions? So not to be caught off guard.” She glances to Jon, knowing it would probably be a good idea. He seems to understand as well, nodding in agreement. 

“Aye.”

“If it’s too much, just stop and we can discuss. Alright?” They both nod. “So Sansa, when did the affair with your agent begin?”

“If you mean, when did he rape me? Then I would tell you nearly eight months ago now.” It was a blunt answer, but that was the goal, to scare away any further questions. Not with the social media movement at this time. 

“Jon, how long have you been an alcoholic? What made you realize you needed help?” His grasp tightens around her hand, trying to stay calm. 

“You don’t really realize it at first. When it becomes you need a drink to get through the day, and that turns to two. And it just seems to keep going, until your so deep you don’t think anything can pull you back to the surface.”

“But something did?” Brienne pushes. Jon turns to look down at her, smiling at her with his grey eyes. 

“Someone.”

“So it’s true then? The two of you are dating?” Three months the world believed that they were dating before they even were. The truth was they hadn’t officially been together for even two months. 

“Sansa has been there for me through everything,” he decides. “She’s one of the most genuine people I know, and I will be forever grateful for everything she’s done for me.”

“Awe...” she whispers, blinking back tears. She hadn’t expected such a sweet answer. 

“I think the two of you need to prepare yourselves for what’s ahead, should you confirm your relationship,” Dr. Tarth warns them. “If you think the rumors are bad now.”

“They already think we’re dating. And it’s not like we intend to announce every detail.”

“They will try to find it. Every nook and cranny of your relationship. Especially with both of you being so high profile at the moment. This would mean no privacy.” Deep down they both knew this was the truth. The more they talked though, the more they were starting to agree that they were done doing such big pictures. She had even talked to him about going back to theatre, where she started. Neither of them had accepted and scripts or contracts as of late, not since they finished their film together, ten months ago now. 

“That was... Intense.”

“Yeah,” she agrees, much more exhausted and tense than she had been before. They walk outside, Jon helping her into the back of the SUV waiting. 

“I’ve been thinking,” he starts.

“Oh?”

“I was thinking of selling my place after the movie is done. And I’ve been thinking of moving back North...”

“Back North?” She looks up, surprised. 

“My mum is from Winter town. I think it could be good for me.” She couldn’t disagree with that. It was harder for both of them being back in Kingslanding. But her family was here, his family was here. Rhae and Willas at least. Dany and the rest spent most of their time in Essos. 

“Oh,” she finally manages. 

“Sansa, I um. I was hoping you’d come with me. That we could get some place together.” She wouldn’t have even thought about it if he had just asked her to move in, here in Kingslanding. She had already started to move, not feeling safe in the same house Littlefinger... but she didn’t want to leave Robb, and Jeyne, and Ben. Especially when Jeyne had just told her she was pregnant again. She didn’t want to miss as much as she had with Benjen. 

“Jon... It’s one thing to travel, but I can’t just leave. My family is here. Robb and Jeyne are having another baby.”

“Oh.” It breaks her heart seeing the look of devastation on his face. She shifts closer to him, taking his hand. 

“I love you. And I want to more than almost anything. I don’t want to loose you, but if this is what you need...” His hand cradles the back of her neck, his fingers carding through her hair, drawing her lips to his, kissing her tenderly. 

“And I love you more than anything...” He whispers softly. She takes a deep breath, curling up against him. 

“We’ll figure something out...”

In eight weeks they would be leaving for a two week press tour all across the world. Tomorrow was going to be the release of the first trailer for A Winter Rose. They’d already watched the rough cut a few days ago, and she nearly cried. It was so beautiful and surreal to see a project she’d poured her heart and soul into. A project that had given her so much in return. 

Her life was miserable before Jon. She told herself she was content. Happy being alone, and lucky to have job, one she loved. And then they grew closer and she realized just how much she was missing. And as close as they were before his rehab, every event that could’ve destroyed them along the way brought them closer. So they would figure something out. Life with Jon hadn’t been easy, but she was so happy. She loved and she was loved. 

“Aunt Sansa!”

“Benjen!” She squeals happily, lifting the little boy into her arms, hugging him tightly as they walk through the front door. She couldn’t express how much she had missed Sunday dinners the six months they didn’t talk. And after Dorne, Jeyne and Robb were happy to have Jon over as well. 

“Jon!”

“Hey Monkey!” He ruffles her nephews hair who laughs hysterically. She sets him down, and he immediately whisks away her boyfriend to show him the new legos he’d gotten. 

“Hard to believe only ten months ago you were telling me how much of a dick he was,” Jeyne laughs, pulling her into an embrace. 

“The world is weird sometimes. Where’s my brother?”

“On the phone. I guess Robert Baratheon passed.” She tenses hearing the name of her ex’s ex step father. She knew Joffrey’s parents divorced a few years ago. Before her own father died, he had been business partners with Robert Baratheon. 

“And?”

“You won’t believe the call I just got,” Robb exclaims, entering the room before Jeyne could enter. 

“And what would that be, my love?”

“He left me the company. The whole thing.”

“_What_?” She and Jeyne say in shock, all of them sitting down on the sofa. 

“If I accept, we would have to move back North to Winterfell.”

“Really?” She asks, excitement flooding her veins. Could it be that easy?

“I mean we’ve always talked about moving back one day. The only reason we moved down here was your mum,” Jeyne reasons while she sits there listening to her brother and sister in law. At some point she zones out, not noticing how much time had passed. 

“Dear lord. Sans, you better go rescue that boyfriend of yours. It’s been an hour. Dinner should almost be ready.” She can only laugh as she walks down the hall, smiling as she hears Benjen instructing Jon on what to do. She stands in the doorway, watching them silently before Benjen notices her. 

“Aunt Sansa! Come play with us! You can be Princess Leia! Jon is Han Solo, and I’m Luke!”

“It’s time for dinner lovey.” Benjen groans, begrudgingly setting down his toys, Jon climbing to his feet. Benjen runs ahead, excited to tell his parents about their play time. “I hope he didn’t wear you out.” Jon only laughs. 

“The two of us have fun together.” Benjen thought that Jon was the coolest person in the world after their vacation in Dorne. One of the days they had volunteered to watch all five kids, while all the other adults went and had fun. Jon and Benjen were best friends by the end. 

“Yeah you do...”

Like always, Benjen eats something else quickly before being sent off to bed, leaving time for all the adults to talk. “So the trailer for your movie comes out tomorrow?”

“Yeah. It’s killing me.”

“Knowing the two of you, it’ll be great,” Robb assures them. 

“Thank you.” They make small talk through a few other things before Jeyne pulls the subject back to what it was before Jon had returned. 

“Sorry, what’s happening?” Jon asks politely, entirely confused by the conversation. 

“Robb’s been offered a position in Winterfell.”

“Oh?” She has to purse her lips to stop herself from smiling like an idiot, seeing the way Jon perks up. 

“Not just a position. I’d be running the company. Our fathers company.”

“I actually went to school for business.”

“You did?”

“You did?” She asks surprised, turning to Jon who sits beside her. Of all the conversations they had, this wasn’t one of them. 

“I never actually used it. I did some modeling throughout school, I just graduated when Davos called and said I had an audition.”

“Well you told me about the audition. I just don’t know how you never mentioned you studied business.” Jeyne shakes her head at them, probably finding this amusing. She didn’t think it was as amusing. How had they never talked about this before? All of the terrible things they talked about, and they had missed something so _simple_?

“_Sansa_.” She looks up to see them all watching her closely. 

Since everything with Littlefinger had started, Dr. Tarth had mentioned more than once she had a gotten lost in her head. The therapist said it was some kind of trauma based thing. That even though she didn’t actually remember, her body did. Because that’s all she had become, detail oriented. 

“You okay?” Robb asks softly. 

“Fine. I just...” She stands up, walking through the living room to the balcony door, slipping outside, the cold breeze easing her breaths. 

“Love...” She glances over her shoulder to see Jon slip through the door. She barely takes a breath before he wraps his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder. 

“It’s just weird sometimes... Thinking that there was time we didn’t know each other. Ten months, and it feels like a lifetime... So it’s weird when I don’t know those things.”

“You know all the important things,” he assures her, kissing her temple softly. 

“Like?”

“I love you. And you might not know every detail about me, but you know my heart. You know my soul. You see me in a way no one ever has...” She takes a deep breath, leaning against him, wrapping her arms over his. He was right. Just like always. 

“I don’t want to be away from you...” She admits, turning to face him, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck. “And I think we could both use a fresh start.”

“Sansa, you don’t-“

“I’m in. I want this. I want what Robb and Jeyne have. I know we never talked about it, but I want kids. I want so many I want to pull my hair out, just like my mom always wanted. I want the silly stereotypical picture and I want it with-“ Before she can finish, Jon is kissing her with a passion he hadn’t before. 

“Yes. Yes to all of it Sansa...” He murmurs against her lips, tugging her closer. 

“What did we just agree to?” She laughs. 

“I don’t care. As long as it’s with you.” 

“Okay...”


	8. To the Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry there wasn’t a second chapter last week, I was on vacation! This chapter takes place about a year after Jon and Sansa have met each other.

“So how would you compare yourselves to your characters in the film?” The Interviewer asks, both of them laughing.

“Well?” Jon looks to her, and all she can do is roll her eyes, straightening her skirt in the process, resisting the urge to hold his hand.

“Sure. Throw me under the bus,” she jokes, taking a moment to think to herself. “It’s what I loved about portraying Sophie. She’s not afraid to wear her heart on her sleeve. She’s an emotional person, but she’s stronger for it... It’s something I’ve had to learn over the last year. Being okay with letting others see you emotionally vulnerable.”She can see Jon clasp his hands together, stopping him from intertwining their hands. Davos and Sam had to train them for weeks to stop them from touching each other during interviews. So here they were. 

“Well said. Jon?” Kat turns to him, his hand reaching up, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“Kit was something very different for me. And it came at a time that I think I needed it most. Needed the people most,” he glances to her nervously. “Kit has demons. Demons I can relate to. Demons that he didn’t want to face until the right person made him.”

“I’m sure you can relate heavily after your own recent stay in rehab.”

“Uh no. That’s not-“ Sam begins to protest from behind the camera, Jon raising a hand to silence him.

“It’s okay. It’s a valid question. And yes. It hit close to home. It isn’t a dirty subject. In fact people should talk about it more, maybe people wouldn’t feel so ashamed to ask for help. I was. I was at rock bottom. My mother had died, a friend of mine and I weren’t speaking at the time...” She takes a shaky breath, focusing her gaze on her shoe. She didn’t like to think about that time. That time where he felt so alone and ashamed like he couldn’t turn to anyone.

“And how did you turn everything around?”

“It’s okay to ask for help. It isn’t too late. And just because someone has a good life, it doesn’t mean they aren’t burdened. Don’t assume anything, about anyone.”

They shuffle through a few more questions before they wrap for the day, Sam shuffling them back into a room, before disappearing to talk to producers. Jon is still shaking. “Hey, I’m so proud of you,” she whispers, hugging him tightly. “You did so good.” He wraps his arms around her waist, lifting her off the ground, hugging her tightly.

“You made me want to be stronger,” he murmurs, pressing his lips to her cheek as he sets her back down.

Two more days and they would be done with the tour. They would go back to Kingslanding and tie up all the loose ends there, go to the premier, and then they would be moving to Winterfell. Together.

“I love you.”

Ten hours later they’re back on a plain, flying across the narrow seas to Westeros. It was her favorite part of the tour, curling up on Jon’s lap, falling asleep there, while Davos and Sam would just smile and shake their heads.

A week later she’s with her team, being primped and primed in every manner to prepare her for the premier. She was smiling like an idiot as they curled her hair and applied the acrylic nails. Freedom was just around the corner. She had survived the last year some how and she was happier than ever. And tonight she would get to celebrate that.

She felt stunning in her the dark grey a line dress, covered in flashes of gold. A higher neckline, long sleeves, a belt, and a deep slit going up to her mid thigh. The dress was perfect. And she could only imagine Jon’s face when he would see her. They had after all made the joint decision to walk the carpet together, for the first and possibly last time. Her smile only grew as she thought of what was next. After they were settled in Winterfell, they had agreed it would be the right time. The time to start to try, try for her to get pregnant. _Babies_. More importantly, her and Jon’s babies. Babies that would have his wild curls and her crystal eyes. Brienne has recommended them therapists they would continue to see in the North, and they had already talked it over with her. She had been concerned at first, Jon was only about to be six months sober, and her trial just over. But then she saw how much they wanted it, the fresh start together. They would be happy together. 

“Wow...” Jon’s jaw drops as soon as he sees her as she walks towards the car, making her laugh. They had dressed him a suite, the same color as her dress. If people didn’t believe they were together before, tonight would surely cement it. “You look...”

“You clean up pretty well yourself...” She smiles, stepping forward and straightening his tie.

“You are the most breathtaking women I’ve ever seen.” She purses her lips, hoping he doesn’t notice the flush in her cheeks, taking his hand, Jon helping her into the limousine.

People scream their names, a few crying as they arrive together, holding up ‘Jonsa’ signs everywhere. They wave and smile, put on the perfect show. But it isn’t much of a show for once. She’s genuinely happy to be there, with Jon. Not Baelish... “Sansa! Jon! Over here!” Every which way there’s a flash. Davos lingering closely behind them as they walk the carpet. People ask questions and congratulate them for a dozen different things. And then finally they head inside the theater. She tries her best not to cry, but seeing this project finally come to life, thinking of everything that happened because of this movie. She’s an emotional wreck by the end, and very much grateful for waterproof makeup. 

“You were incredible,” Jon whispers in her ear, squeezing her hand gently just as the lights come on. They say a few words to the director and producers before they finally manage to escape. They’ve barely made it into the limousine before Jon is kissing her passionately.

“Jon...” She moans realizing he’s already hard.

“The things I’ve wanted to do with you all night...” he murmurs against her pulse point, his husky voice sending shivers along her already sensitive skin. She groans feeling his hand tighten around her thigh, wet heat growing between her legs. She reaches up, grabbing ahold of his curls, exposing her neck to him further. “So beautiful...”

She read somewhere once towards the end of Jon’s stay in rehab that his sexual interests may change. He may not even want to have sex within the first year sober. Something about rebuilding confidence. Jon never had that problem.

They’re barely through front door before his hands are finding the zipper of her dress. As soon as she feels it loosen, she starts to tug it down, Jon growling when he sees the shape wear they’d layered her in. “Seven hells, you don’t need all this...” His lips find her neck again, his body pressing her against the wall, his hands fumbling with each of the clasps. Reaching up, she rugs off his suit jacket tossing it aside. He finally breaks the corset free from around her body, just as she finishes the buttons of his dress shirt. He kisses her neck, collar bone, his hand working her breast hard the entire time. She whimpers as she feels his fingers push past her panties, into her slick folds. “Gods, you’re so wet, you sweet girl.”

“I need you,” she begs, breathless and she tugs at his breeches, tugging his boxers with, freeing his hard cock, Jon groaning, his head falling to her shoulder.

“Fuck Sansa...”

“So much for waiting,” she laughs, Jon chuckling with her, his hands pulling away her lace panties before lifting her into his arms, her back hitting the wall, her arms wrapping around him. His lips capture hers in a bruising kiss as he thrusts into her, making her gasp as he fills her so perfectly. Her legs wrap around his waist, pulling him even closer. It’s far from gentle, feral. Desire taking hold of both of them, Jon thrusting deeper and deeper, his pelvic bone rubbing against her clit every time. Both of them are so close. And then she starts to see stars, her walls clenching around his cock, Jon filling com deep inside her for the first time.His head falls to her shoulder, both of them gasping for air as they ride out their highs. It takes a few moments before either of them relax enough for him to pull away, still holding her against the wall, her legs trembling. She was going to be sore tomorrow. 

They take a much needed bath together before she steals one of his T-shirt’s to sleep in, Jon just shaking his head and smiling. All of her things had already been sent North, now sitting in Robb and Jeyne’s new basement. Anything that she needed was in luggage from the tour that was now at Jon’s. Jon’s things were being collected by movers in the morning and they would fly to Winterfell a few hours later. “Jon, what’re you doing?” She whines, entirely exhausted. He had disappeared about ten minutes ago, with no explanation as to what he was doing. “Jon?!”

She groans, climbing out of bed, walking into the hall. She stops in her tracks though as she sees the rose petals and fairy lights lining the floor.“Jon?” She follows the path down the steps, through the kitchen, stoping in her tracks as she sees Jon on the other side. She covers her mouth in shock, blinking back tears as she sees him, dressed in his suite again. She takes a deep breath, composing herself enough to walk outside. “What’re you doing...?” She chokes out. 

“I love you, Sansa,” he recites, taking her hand in his. “I remember seeing you the first day on set, thinking you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, and later smacking myself for pissing you off.” She can only laugh, thinking about how much she had fucked up, screaming at him like an idiot.

“I remember the day I fell in love with you with no return. That first time you came with me to see my mother. Seeing you together, I knew I was going to marry you...” She can’t stop her tears from rolling down her cheeks. “I’m a better person because you made me want to be better. You inspire me everyday. I never wanted things until I had you. I never wanted to get married and have a wife, I never wanted to be a father, until I had you. And I hope I can be enough for you, because I will spend everyday proving I’m worthy of you, and everything you’ve given me.”

“Jon...” she breathes as he gets down onto one knee, reaching into his pocket, pulling out a beautiful gold ring with a single diamond.

“Sansa, will you marry me?”

“Yes...!” She answers without even thinking, because there wasn’t anything to think about.

He slips the ring onto her finger, getting to his feet and kissing her passionately. “I love you.”

“I love you...”

Curling up against him that night, she can’t stop staring at the ring. It was beautiful. “It was my grandmothers ring,” he explains, twirling her hair thorough his fingers. “My mother gave it to me the last time we went to see her. You’re the only girl she’s ever met that she would let me give it to.”

There were times she would forget the five year age gap between her and Jon. She was twenty four, he was twenty nine. He had serious girlfriends before her. Even an ex fiancée, Ygritte Wilde. And of course she felt better that he had told her about all of them. He told her enough to know that none of them would’ve lasted. She’d even met a few of them, and they might’ve had the same color hair, but they were so different than her. They weren’t real. They were.

“I love you...”

The next night they walk through the front door of their new home, two acres of private property on the boarder of Winterfell. It was beautiful, and peaceful. They did make the joint decision though the have twenty four hour security. Especially if they were ever going to be having kids.“Jon! Where’s the plates?! Robb and Jeyne are going to be here soon!” There were boxes scattered everywhere, and they had been trying to put things away for the last few hours, or at least migrating them towards where they should be, but for the life of her she couldn’t find the plates. 

“Did you check the one labeled plates?” He asks, appearing from down the stairs, holding a box labeled ‘plates’.

“Where was that?” She shakes her head as she takes it from him, walking over to the kitchen, setting it down on the overly crowded counter top.

“Bathroom,” he laughs, pecking her on the cheek as she starts to pull plates from the box. “What time are they supposed to be here?”

“Seven. Benjen is with a sitter though. They didn’t want him to knock anything over.”

“Probably smart.” As sweet as Benjen was, the five year old had way too much energy to be in a half put together house right now. Not to mention they were both exhausted, waking up at the crack of dawn to get ready. The majority of Jon’s things weren’t even here yet.

The doorbell goes off, signaling the arrival of her brother and sister in law. “I’ll get it.” Jon walks over to the front door, while she quickly washes four plates, Robb and Jeyne having brought dinner with them.

“Lovey! Where are you?!” She hears Jeyne shout, turning into the kitchen a moment later. She rushes forward, hugging her sister tightly, her now swollen belly pressing against hers.

“Look at you! How far now?”

“Six months down. Three to go.”

“And? Do you know if it’s a boy or girl yet?”

“We want to be surprised.” Jon and Robb finally appear, Jon smiling like an idiot.

“Well, we actually have a surprise,” she starts, Jon walking over and wrapping an arm around her waist.

“Sans, you’re-“ “No. Not yet anyways. We’re engaged!” She holds up her hand, showing them the ring, Robb and Jeyne immediately congratulating them, hugging them tightly. 

“Welcome to the family!” Robb claps Jon on the back, and she’s never been happier.

Jeyne and Robb stay a few hours before they decide to head home, her and Jon electing to head to bed. She braids her hair over her shoulder, walking into their bedroom to see Jon already laying on his side. Walking over to him, she kneels down, running a hand through his hair, his gaze telling her he’s a thousand miles away.“Where are you my love...?” She asks softly. 

“It’s bad tonight,” he mumbles, looking ashamed of himself. He was always harder on himself than he should be.

“It’s been a stressful few months...” He was getting more and more frustrated with himself lately, craving alcohol more and more. He had just broke six months sober, but the stress of the tour and the premier and moving, was getting to him. “You must have patience with yourself...”

“I feel like I’m letting you down.”

“No... I will never be angry or upset with you for craving it. What I care or not is if you give into it or not, and you haven’t. Now what can I do to help...?”

He shifts over, making room for her on his side of the bed. Without a word, she climbs under the covers with him, wrapping him in her arms. His arms cling around her waist, tugging her closer, his head resting against the curve of her neck. “It’s okay... We’re okay...” She murmurs, stroking his hair gently, Jon nuzzling closer. “Just hold onto me...” Eventually his breathing evens out telling her he’s asleep. Her heart still pounds in her chest, because there was always that fear. That fear that one day the pull might be too much and he would turn back to drinking. She was even scared, thinking of the day on the press tour, one of the assistants had slipped up and handed him a drink. His entire body tensed and went pale. They had to push the entire day by a few hours to give him time to calm down. He had been so close to relapsing that day... It’s a good thing she’s seeing this new therapist tomorrow.

She panics when she wakes up alone the next morning, partly because of Jon, partly because the surroundings weren’t all that familiar yet. She rushes down the stairs, relaxing when she sees him in the kitchen. “What’re you doing?” She asks, wrapping her arms around herself, not realizing how cold it would be downstairs.

“I was trying to make you breakfast in bed.” She smiles walking over and hugging him from behind.

“That was sweet... Still smells amazing. French toast?”

“Lemon French toast,” he corrects, a smirk spreading across his lips.

“Have I told you much I love you?”

“Not that a remember,” he teases, making her roll her eyes. 

“You’re a dork.” She steps away, walking over to the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water.

“I’m your dork,” he reminds her as he places the French toast onto the plate and turns off the burner, walking straight over to her.

“And I love you for it.” She kisses him tenderly, his hands finding her hips and pulling her closer.

“I love you... Thank you for last night.” She shakes her head, moving a stray curl from his face.

“For better or for worse, right?”

“You are the best thing to ever happen to me Sansa...”

“You going to alright while I’m at my session? I could-“

“Sansa I don’t need you hovering-“

“It’s called worrying. Which I’m entitled to do with my fiancé.”

“Sansa. I’ll be fine.” Her phone goes off and she walks over to see a text from Jeyne.

_Call me_.

“Everything alright?” She can only shrug in response as she dials her sister in law. Jeyne answering right away.

“Hey is everything-?”“I know your place is still half together but can Robb drop Ben off?”

“Of course. Jeyne-“

“Something is wrong I’m at the hospital. My OB said something about an incompetent cervix- I don’t really know. Robb is swinging by our place. I could be here a few days.”

“No. Of course. It’s fine. Just text me if you need me there.”

“I will. Thank you Sans.”

“Always.” She hands up, realizing that she’s shaking, as she types ‘incompetent cervix’ into google.

“Sansa-“

“One sec,” she silences him, holding up a finger as she scrolls, biting her lip nervously. Basically everything leads to bad. “Shit...”

“Sansa, talk to me.”

“Jeyne is in the hospital. There’s been a complication with her pregnancy, they could loose the baby,” she rambles off, an entire mess. “Robb is dropping off Ben.”

“You have your session in an hour and a half.”

“I’ll reschedule.” Jon grabs her phone from her before she can even unlock it. “Jon!”

“No way... Sansa you’re going.”

“I can’t just leave! Jeyne is in the hospital and Ben will be-“

“Fine with me for an hour.”

“It isn’t fare when you’re right all the time, you know.”

“I worry about you too...”

Ben is asleep when Robb drops him off, looking quite the state, Jon carrying him to the kids room in the house, while she tries to talk to her brother. “When did this happen?”

“I dunno. She was saying her back hurt last night when we got home, more than it was. Then she called me bout an hour ago and said she was on her way to the ER. Bens had an ear infection the last few days so he’s been home.”

“You go take care of your wife. We’ll take care of Ben.”

“Thank you.”

“Text me how she’s doing.”

“Will do.” Jon practically has so shove her out the front door to head to her therapy appointment, arguing with her that Ben was still sleeping. 

“Sansa?” She looks up to see a woman, probably around the same age as Jon.

“Yes.”

“Meera Reed. Come on in.” She follows her into the quaint office, sitting down on a plush sofa, Meera sitting down across from her. “So how’s your morning been?”

“I didn’t want to come.” Meera laughs lightly, nodding her head.

“Most people don’t.”

“It’s um... My sister in law is in the hospital, and my fiancé is home with my nephew. My currently sober alcoholic fiancé, who just last night hada bad withdrawal episode. So no. I don’t want to be here today,” she clarifies, being brutally honest. Dr. Tarth always said therapy was the place to be be brutally honest.

“Sounds like you have a lot going on. It’s a lot of weight on one persons shoulders.”

“I’m not alone.”

“I didn’t say that. Dr. Tarth and I spoke. She gave me her notes, with your consent of course. She also warned me of your tendency to try remain in control of situations you cannot.” She huffs, crossing her arms, leaning back in her chair. Not even five minutes and Meera has picked up right where her last therapist left off. “Is there anyone you talk to aside from your therapist? Family? Friend? Just someone to unburden yourself with?”

“Jon.”

“And Jon is?”

“My fiancé...” She mumbles, seeing exactly where this is going.

“Your fiancé who suffers with alcoholism?”

“Yes.”

“Didn’t you say he was a concern of yours? Do you ever share those concerns with him?”

Not really. “Sometimes.”

“Uhuh... Anyone else?”

“My sister in law.”

“The one currently in the hospital.”

“Alright, I get it. You’ve proven your point.”

“No. I haven’t actually. The point I’m trying to make is your stressed. Don’t you do anything enjoyable? Relaxing? You tend to try to please people, what is something you want? What is it that you want that you do not have?”


	9. Steps Forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of time jumps, tbh I don’t even know.
> 
> (Sorry if it offends people that Jon and Sansa are happy. 🤷♀️)

Benjen stayed with them for five days, and was eye opening for both her and Jon. Realizing what it would be like to be the sole responsible people for a small child at nearly every hour. It was stressful to say the least, but then she would hear Bens laugh as Jon chased him around, or his giggle when they’d have a impromptu dance party. That made it all worth it; Ben refusing to eat what she made for dinner, not wanting his bath, climbing into their bed at night. Even frustrated, she still loved it. And the way Jon lit up like a Christmas tree the entire time, he loved it too.It made them even more devoted to starting their own family, having sex twice, sometimes three times a day, but time continued to pass, and she still wasn’t pregnant. It was getting frustrating the longer time passed. Getting down to charts and nutrition, searching everywhere on the internet, much to Jon and Meera’s dismay. 

And then the call came that she had a new niece, Catelyn Rose Stark. She and Jon had gone to the hospital to meet her, and she had broken down in tears. Because she wanted it. She wanted it so bad that it physically pained her. In theory it seemed like such an easy idea, but here she was after six months with an empty womb, and it was killing her.“Love, come here...” She sighs, getting up and walking over to Jon, sitting down on his lap. For the last hour she’d been trying and failing to distract herself. “I know this isn’t easy...” He kisses her cheek softly. 

“I know everyone says to give it time, to be patient, but it just feels like it’s never going to happen...”

“I know,” he murmurs softly, pulling her closer. “And that’s why I called a fertility specialist.”

“What?” She sits up, meeting his gaze, shocked. “Jon-“ “I’m an alcoholic Sansa. If anyone’s body isn’t functioning properly, it’s mine. Rhae recommended her. Says she’s amazing. And she’s here, so that makes it easier.”

“Thank you...” She caresses his cheek, close to crying.

“Anything for our family.” She felt guilty. She had been so focused that last months, she had barely done a thing to plan their wedding. Jon didn’t seem to mind though, as long as there was a ring on her finger. 

“How about a small wedding? Just us and our families and close friends, here,” she offers. That’s what she had been leaning towards for months now the brief few times she thought about it.

“Whatever you want. As long as you’re my wife in the end.”

The adjustment to Winterfell had been easier once the worry with Jeyne had passed. They quickly found that there was hardly any paps in the entire city, and they were always more focused on business. They could actually go out in public without being harassed. They were always careful still, but it was nice to be able to breathe.

“Hello?”

“In the Kitchen!” Jeyne shouts from down the hall. She closes the front door behind her, kicking off her shoes, and hanging up her coat before walking to the kitchen. Walking inside she sees Jeyne shuffling through the cabinets, Cate laying in her swing, wide awake.

“And how are we today?”

“Exhausted. Your niece has started to teeth,” Jeyne answers in a sing song voice, embracing her tightly. She forces herself to smile. She did that a lot lately, never wanting to hurt Jeyne’s feelings. Her pregnancy with Cate was far from easy, but she would’ve given anything to be able to _get_ pregnant right now.

“How’s Jon?”

“Fine,” she shrugs, walking over to Cate, lifting the four month old into her arms. She giggles happily, grabbing her hair excitedly. She doesn’t even care that it hurts.

“You aren’t very talkative lately...” Jeyne says gently, sitting down at the counter, watching them carefully. She hadn’t said a word about everything to Jeyne. It just didn’t seem like the right time. “Sans. What’s going on with you?”

“I’m fine.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t.” She bites her lip, realizing her mistake. Jeyne was always too good at readying through her bullshit. “Sansa, we have been best friends since we were four. We don’t hide things from each other.” Her heart pounds in her chest as she blinks back tears. Just one more month, she reminds herself. One more month until they would see the fertility specialist and they would figure something out. One more month of not knowing why. 

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore...” she decides, doing her best to ignore the look of pain on her sister in laws face.

“You sure?”

“Very...” It wasn’t like her to keep things from Jeyne, but she didn’t want her pity. She didn’t want her false understanding. Jeyne had gotten pregnant with Benjen on accident, after one night they were both drunk. There were no charts and scheduling and laying with her legs in the air for hours. It wasn’t Jeyne’s fault, but it still was upsetting.

“Well um... Robb and I’s anniversary is coming up next week. I’d hate to ask, but I was wondering if you two would be willing to watch the kid? Robb wants to-“ “Of course we’ll watch them...” She and Jon loved Ben and Cate like their own. They had their own room at their house, Jon would always take Ben for adventures through their woods. They would have movie nights together, Cate only joining them the last few times. She was always happiest with them. 

“Robb told me Jon’s been helping him with everything.”

“Yeah. He likes having something to do. It keeps him distracted.”

“Seems like you could use some distracting.”

“We’ve decided on a small wedding,” she offers, setting Cate down in her lap, holding one of her toys. “Just something at the house. Friends and family.”

“You still don’t have a dress,” Jeyne reminds her.

“I mean we don’t want it to end up everywhere. No one even knows were engaged. Davos says we’ve thrown everyone for a loop disappearing to Winterfell.”

“Let them be confused. It’s about damn time it’s them scrambling.”

“I’ll figure out something I guess.”

“Just let me know if you need any help setting things up.”

“It would actually be useful if we could leave our names out and such. Anyone would leak it if it was me or Jon, and then the paps would come swarming.”

“I’m sure we can figure something out.”

“Did I mention that we want to do it in the next two weeks?”

“Sansa!” Jeyne looks like she might keel over at any second, Cate screaming with her.

“We don’t want to make it a big deal. At the end of the day, I just want to be his wife and two weeks from now is our anniversary,” she explains.

“The day you fucked him?” She stifles a laugh at Jeyne’s bluntness.

“No...! It’s the day I told him I loved him for the first time.”

“Okay... That’s sweet,” Jeyne relents.

“Yeah... It is.”

She doesn’t know how exactly that she and Jeyne pull it together, but they do. They end up sewing her dress themselves, putting twenty years of lessons from her mother to good use. It’s stunning. Simple, high necked, hugging her figure with a plunging back. Half of her hair is pulled back into an ornate braid, the rest of it tumbling down her back.

“Look at you...” She glances over her shoulder as Robb slips into the room, where she’d been staring at her reflection for the last ten minutes.

“I wish they were here...” All she wanted was her parents here today. She wished that they could’ve met Jon. She wished her father would be here to walk her down the isle.

“Hey...” Robb walks over, pulling her into his embrace. “They are here Sans... They’re right here. ‘Right?” He asks, pulling away.

“I just wish they could’ve met him. I mean I met his mother before...”

“They would’ve loved him. I promise you. Now I have something for you, so you better stop crying.” She stifles a laugh as she grabs a tissue, dabbing her eyes carefully. He reaches into his suit jacket, pulling out a box and handing it to her. She takes it, gasping as soon as she sees what’s inside.

“Mums locket...”

“Jeyne said you didn’t have something borrowed- Bad luck or something,” he rambles as he takes it back, lifting it from the box. She turns around, petting him clasp the locket around her neck. “There.” She reaches back, tugging her hair free before checking her reflection one more time.

“C’mon Sans... You’re marrying the love of your life today,” Robb groans, placing his hands on her shoulders, shaking her gently. And she should be happier. She was thrilled. Jon was the love of her life, there was no doubt in her mind that he was. “He is... Isn’t he?”

“Yes!” She assures her brother, walking over to the bed and sitting down, one of her hands fidgeting with her mother’s locket. “Yes... More than anything. I just...”

“What’s going on Sans? Jeyne said you weren’t yourself lately. What is it?” He asks, sitting down beside her.

“I um... We’ve been trying to get pregnant. For like the last seven months, and nothing. We’re seeing a fertility specialist soon, but I just- We want a baby so bad Robb...”

“You’ll have your baby Sansa. One way or another. You’ll be a mum.”

“Thank you...” She remembered what her parents went through. They’d had to do all sorts of treatments to have her and Robb. They’d tried to have more kids, but her mother couldn’t take it after three miscarriages.

“Now c’mon. Let’s not be late for your own wedding.” She stifles a laugh, accepting his hand letting him guide her from the room.

Her eyes start to water as she catches sight of Jon at the end of the isle, Robb walking beside her. Walking past their family and friends, Jeyne and Rhae are already in tears. She barely hears a word before it’s Jon’s turn to recite his vows, taking her hands in his.“You’re my light,” he chokes out, already crying. “You’re my heart, my soul, the air in my lungs, the blood in my veins. And I am so grateful everyday that you gave me a second chance. You saved me when I didn’t think I could be saved... And you weren’t afraid. You’ve stood by my side through everything. My mother, rehab, my depression, nights when all I want is to drink. Sometimes I wonder what I ever did to deserve someone like you, someone so wonderful and kind. 

“I’ll love you until the day I die. I’ll love you at your lowest, and I’ll love you at your highest. Whatever comes next, all I know is we’ll do it together. I love you, Sansa...” She’s completely balling by the time he’s done. He reaches up, gently wiping away her tears with the pad of his thumb. “I love you,” he whispers, just for her.

“Sansa?” She takes a shaky breath, trying to steady herself.

“I didn’t believe in love anymore when I met you... I didn’t believe in families being unconditional and friendships without manipulation. I didn’t believe in genuine people anymore... And then word by word, you somehow made me believe again. You showed me genuine people still existed. I showed you parts of me that weren’t pretty, and you made no judgment. You only vowed to undo the trauma of every abuse. And you have, and you will, because that’s who you are. It’s what made me fall in love with you. It’s what made me believe in love again. And I love you. It’s us against the world now, and I like our chances, because we’ve survived. Everything thrown at us, we made it through the worst bits of life. And for once, I’m excited for what the future has to show us.”

“Me too,” he mouths softly, Benjen stepping forward and

“Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do,” He murmurs, slipping the gold ring onto her finger.

“Do you, take this man to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“Yes, I do.” She slips the gold band onto his finger, her heart pounding in her chest. 

“Then I now pronounce you, husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.” Jon doesn’t waist a second before cupping her cheeks, kissing her passionately.

“I love you... Mrs. Snow...”

“And I love you.”

The times she had imagined her wedding reception once or twice, it wasn’t like this. It was always the trashy image, everyone getting waisted. But she likes it more the way their turns out. She had made the unilateral decision to have no alcohol. She wanted Jon to enjoy himself, not worry about slipping up. He doesn’t say anything, but she knows he’s grateful.She knows he’s even more grateful when everyone leaves, leaving them alone. He closes the door behind his sister, b lining straight for her in the kitchen, fidgeting with the dress she had changed into after the ceremony. 

His lips capture hers hungrily, lifting her up onto the counter top, standing between her legs. She laughs, thinking about the last time he had done this. That was only the beginning of so much. “I love you...” he mumbles, kissing his way down her neck, her hands grasping his hair, guiding him.

“Jon,” she leans forward to his ear. “Take me to bed.” He waists no time, lifting her into his arms and carrying her upstairs, setting her down to slam the door shut behind him. She fumbles with the buttons of his dress shirt for a moment as they kiss, before giving up and just ripping it open. 

“You naughty girl,” he moans, loosing his composure for a moment. The next thing she knows, he’s spinning her around, ripping open the back of her dress, her quickly helping to tug it off, exposing the black lace lingerie she’d been wearing. “Oh fuck...” If only their little bubble lasted. 

Three weeks later they’re walking into Dr. Kelkelli’s office, to get the results of the testing she’d done with both of them. They sit down together, clinging to each other’s hands. Their whole future was up in the air, based on the results of this appointment.“And how are we doing today?” The Doctor asks as she slips into the room a moment later, a smile on her face. Dr. Shae steps forward, shaking both of their hands. 

“Nervous.”

“Well let’s jump in then, Alright?” She sits down on a stool, Jon’s grasp tightening around her hand. “Sansa, everything for you came back perfect, which is a very good thing. I know your PCOS was a concern, but your hormones are perfect right now.” She releases a breath, a weight lifting from her shoulders, only to be replaced by another as she turns to her husband.

“So it is me...” he whispers softly, looking so ashamed it pains her.

“It is,” Dr. Kelkelli confirms. “But there are ways to treat this. You have a low sperm count, for someone your age. But you have options.”

“Like?”

“There are several paths to follow. One is HCG/TRT therapy. You would get injections of HCG and testosterone up to three times a week for up to six months. Your other options, is just doing the HCG injections. By itself, it would be less of a shock.”

“Which would you recommend?” She asks softly, already worried about what this would do to him.

“I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“Mr. Snow, you need to understand the side effects these treatments could have. Headaches, weight gain, dizziness, insomnia, depression-““I’ll do it.”

“Can we have a moment, Dr. Kelkelli?”

“Of course.” The Doctor quickly ducks out of the room, and she turns to Jon.

“No.”

“Sansa-“ “Jon, I want this, but not at the cost of your health. Your mental health. It isn’t worth it,” she argues, cupping his cheek gently. “There are other ways. There has to be.” 

“I want to do this. I want to do this for you...”

“It shouldn’t just be about me. And I’m sorry, if it’s felt that way... But this is about us. It’s supposed to be about us...” she realizes, realizing the pressure she’d put onto their relationship with all of this. “We can adopt, or do IVF. There are more choices, ones Dr. Kelkelli can tell us. But let’s make sure the choice we make, is the right choice.”

“Alright... Your right,” he relents, leaning into her shoulder. She reaches up, stroking his hair gently for a moment, giving him a chance to compose himself. This had been on hard on him as it had been on her. “I’m sorry...”

“It’s not your fault.”

“If I hadn’t-“ She pulls away, cupping both of his cheeks, forcing him to meet her gaze.“Jon, it’s not your fault,” she repeats, kissing his lips softly. “Blame will get us nowhere. Now I’m going to get Dr. Kelkelli, and she’s going to finish telling us what we can do. Then we’re going to go home, and you’re going to call Tormund.”

“I love you.” He kisses her, nodding in agreement.She leads Dr. Kelkelli back into the room, sitting down beside Jon again.

“What else is there we can do? Something that wouldn’t compromise his health so much?”

“My top recommendation? Artificial Insemination. We would take your sperm, and inject it directly into your uterus. It might not work, but hormonally, it’s the least invasive place to start.”

“How does it work? Specifically,” Jon inquires further, Dr. Kelkelli smiling softly.

“Well, we would have you come in while just after Sansa is done ovulating. You would supply a sperm sample. It would go through a process in the lab, for about an hour. And then with a long tube and an ultrasound, we would guide it through her cervix, and inject it directly into her uterus.”

“It would hurt her would it?”

“There would be some discomfort. She may cramp or have some light bleeding. A lot of my patients say it’s similar to a Pap smear.”

“When can we start?” She speaks up, finding her voice again.

“Depends on when the last time you had sex. The more time, the stronger the sperm.” She pauses, thinking about it.

“Two days?” She guesses, since Benjen had stayed with them for the weekend while Robb was out of town for work.

“Well your blood work says you’ve just finished ovulating recently. We could start today?”

The entirety of all of it doesn’t take more than a few hours, before she finds herself in a gown, laying flat on her back with her legs propped slightly up. She had to lay down for an hour afterwards.

“It might not have worked...” she worries, holding Jon’s hand tightly. “It still could be me. They just might-“ He cuts her off, kissing her sweetly.“It’ll work...”


	10. Here We Go

“Sansa, you almost ready-?“ Whatever he says, she doesn’t hear, turning on her heel and fleeing the room as soon as she catches his sent. The same cologne he wore everyday, that she actually liked, but suddenly it was the most nauseating thing in the world. “Sansa?” She clamps a hand over her nose, placing another on her stomach as it turns violently. Of course he had to follow her, sending her fleeing to the bathroom, emptying the contents of her stomach. “Sansa!”

“Please go away...!” She begs, her throat raw as she speaks. 

“Sansa-“ “Babe, I love you, but right now I can’t stand the smell of you.”

“You don’t think-?” He takes a step forward, making her stomach turn all over again. 

“_Please_...” 

“I’ll go shower,” he offers, retreating from the room again, making her groan. 

“We’re supposed to leave soon.”

“I can’t be in the same room as my stunning wife. It won’t do either of us any good if I don’t.” She only sighs in response, letting him go as she leans back against the wall, still on the floor. 

It had been about three months of IUI to no avail so far, and she didn’t want to get her hopes up. There were plenty of things that could be making her sick right now, even though it was probably one. It had been five weeks since her implantation. Dr. Kelkelli has suggested waiting longer this time between implantation. Technically she was supposed to go for her bloodwork weeks ago, but she’d been too afraid. 

She looks up to see Jon had returned, his hair damp, but the nauseating order now gown, smiling like an idiot. “What’re you smiling about?”

“We are going to get your blood work done,” he answers, offering her a hand that she begrudgingly accepts, allowing him to pull her to her feet. 

“We’re supposed to meet Robb and Jeyne-“ She starts to protest, leaning into him, Jon wrapping his arms around her, rubbing her back gently. “They’ll understand, but we’re not putting this off any longer. Don’t you want to know...?” He asks, tucking a strand of her hair from her face, pressing his lips to her head.

“Alright. Let’s go...”

She doesn’t even flinch anymore when they poke her with the needle to draw her blood, Jon still standing dutifully by her side, clinging to her hand. Just because it didn’t hurt anymore, didn’t mean she wasn’t nervous. In a few hours they would know if she was pregnant or not, and then they would go from there. “We will call you in a few hours to let you know,” Dr. Kelkelli assures then as they leave the office. They walk outside, hand in hand to the car, Jon climbing in the drivers seat.

“Jon, if it doesn’t work this time, I want to look into adoption,” she admits, surprising her husband. 

“Sansa, there are other ways. Dr. Kelkelli-“ “I know... But I don’t think I could handle this anymore. It’s been ten months, and every time it hurts more. I’ve been through hundreds of tests at this point...”

“I know,” he sighs, taking her hand in his. “I know this isn’t easy. And I’m sorry I’ve complicated this... And if adoption is going to make you happy, then we’ll do it. Whatever it takes, to have our family.”

“And would you be okay? _Adopting_?”

“I will be happy with whatever child the gods bless us with... Adopted or not. I vaguely remember you saying you wanted so many kids you’d rip your hair out.” She laughs, remembering the conversation well. The one that had started all of this “Do you still want that...?” He asks softly, kissing her hand softly. 

“One way or another.”

“Right then... We going to your family’s or would you rather go home?”

“No. Let’s still go. I need distraction.”

And sure enough, it’s just the kind of distraction she needs, Jeyne letting them inside to see Cate crawling around clumsily. “Look at you big girl!”

“Uncle Jon!” Benjen runs over excitedly, launching himself at her husband, Jon catching him in a tight embrace. 

“Monkey!” He swings Benjen around, her nephew squealing at the top of his lungs. She walks over to Cate, lifting her into her arms, peppering her face in kisses, making her giggle.

“Look at you, crawling like a big girl.”

“Don’t tell Robb, she hasn’t done it in front of him yet,” Jeyne laughs. “I want him to be surprised.”

“Alright, our secret then.” She and Jon end up watching the kids while Jeyne runs to the store. Jon is the only one who can manage to coax Cate down for her nap, while she sits at the kitchen table helping Benjen with his homework. He’d been having a hard time in kindergarten. 

The more hours that pass though, the more she begins to accept the fact that she probably wasn’t pregnant, yet again. In her last therapy session with Meera, they had looked into a few adoption agents, but some small part of her still hoped. 

“Aunt Sansa, I don’t wanna do this anymore,” Ben whines, lowering his head so it rests on the table. 

“C’mon now. You’re nearly done,” she coaxes gently, pointing to last few addition problems on his page. She’d always been terrible with numbers, but luckily she knew the basics. 

“I don’t wanna...!” He shouts, slamming his pencil down angrily. “I want daddy!”

“Benjen,” She says in a firm tone, walking over and kneeling down in front of his chair. He mumbles something in audible, burying his face in his arms on the table. “Hey, please look at me when I’m talking to you.”

“Where’s my _mum_...?”

“She’s went to the store. Now don’t you want her to be so proud when she gets home and you have your work done?”

“Yeah...” he groans. 

“You have two more problems left. Now let’s hurry and finish before your mum gets home.” He nods, picking up his pencil, turning his attention back to his maths. Her phone starts to ring and she glances down to see the doctors office. “Uncle Jon, is going to help you, Alright?” He nods his head as she stands, walking out of the room, Jon taking her place. 

“Hello?”

“Hey Sansa, It’s Dr. Kelkelli. I have your bloodwork back, and I’m sorry to tell you, you won’t be getting a good nights sleep for the next eighteen years.” She feels like she might pass out, lowering herself onto a chair. 

“Wait what? I’m...?”

“Congratulations. You’re pregnant. Six weeks in two days.”

“Oh my gods...”

“My office we’ll send over a list of OB’s we recommend, get you scheduled.”

“_Thank you._..”

“Course. Have a good day. Just try to take it easy.”

“Thank you...” She hangs up, her hands shaking as she places one over her belly, blinking back tears as she realizes there’s a babe inside her. 

“Sansa...?” She looks up to see Jon watching her carefully, concern written clear as day on his features. 

“I um... Where’s Benjen?”

“Upstairs. Finished his homework, went to play with his legos. Was that Dr. Kelkelli?” She nods her head, biting her lip nervously as she stands. 

“Yes...”

“And?” He steps forward, placing his hands against her arms, looking at her expectingly. 

“It worked,” she manages to breathe, Jon looking as if he’s torn between shouting in excitement or breaking down in tears. In the end he kisses her passionately, before falling to his knee and kissing her belly. “Jon...”

“You’ve made me the happiest man in the world...”

“No telling anyone. Not until I’m twelve weeks. I want to be sure.”

“Whatever you say.”

That night when they get home, she goes to shower, Jon heading to his study. When she’s done, she finds him sitting there, flipping his one year sobriety chip over in his hand. It always was a tell something was wrong. She walks forward, sitting down in his lap, Jon resting his head against her chest, his arms wrapping around her, one hand resting on her belly. 

“It’s real,” he murmurs softly. “It’s real now and what if I’m a bad father...”

“I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you if I didn’t think you’d be an incredible father,” she counters, running her hand through his curls. 

“I mean, my father was an alcoholic. What if-“ “Hush... Jon, your father wasn’t you. He wasn’t a good man. He abandoned you and your mother. He never wanted help, and he never got it. He wasn’t even your father. He was just someone who played a part in your biological existence.” Her words might’ve been cruel, speaking of a dead man so poorly, but she’d heard worse spoken of Rhaegar Targaryen.

“I don’t want to mess up Sansa...”

“We both will. It’s just how it works... I know it’s hard. Everyday it’s harder, just sitting there below the surface, and you’ve been so strong. And all of it, everything we’ve gone through, it will be worth it when we hold our baby for the first time...”

“I don’t want them to end up like me...”

“We’ll be honest with them. I believe in you, now you just have to believe in yourself...”

“Thank you...”

The next few days are rough for both of them. Jon having to call Tormund, his sponsor, three or fours times a day. Her morning sickness getting more sensitive. And then she gets the call from Davos. She had been invited to be on Ella’s talk show. Myrcella Baratheon. Joffrey’s sister, who had always been kind, but it made her nervous. But people want to know her story. She had so many young girls reach out to her over the last year, telling her their stories, asking for advice, saying how much she meant to them. And she wanted to help. It was something she wanted to do, but she wasn’t sure if it was the right time. Especially with Jon so panicked at the idea of being a father. She never would’ve pushed for this so much if she knew how heavy of a weight it would be on her.

“Sansa?” She looks up from where she’d been sitting on the sofa, reading to see Jon swing the front door behind her, holding a bouquet of winter roses in his hands. 

“Hey... How was-“ He sits down beside her, kissing her passionately. He hadn’t kissed her like this since their wedding four months ago. There had been a tension since then. “Where did that come from...?” She asks softly. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel anything less than excited about this. I love you, and I’ll love our baby just as much- maybe more. I’m so happy...” he murmurs, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, his thumb caressing her cheek. “I’m so fucking happy I’m scared I’ll wake up and none of it is real...”

His thumb wipes away the tears that start to roll down her cheeks. “Thank you... I was starting to think you thought it was a mistake. All of it- Marrying me, having a baby-“ “Never.” He kisses her again, before offering her the bouquet he’d brought. “For you.”

“Jon, you didn’t have to get me apology roses...”

“These are for something else...” He smiles hesitantly, getting up and disappearing through the front door again, leaving her utterly confused. And then he returns a moment later, holding a small white fluff ball in his arms. 

“_Jon_...”

“I know, I know... _but_, we always talked about adopting, and we could use the practice,” he rambles off nervously as he approaches her, holding the small pup in his arms. 

“Adopting a _baby_,” she counters looking between her husband and the puppy. “Where did you even get the idea of a dog??”

“Tormund,” he admits sheepishly, and she groans. She should’ve known his sponsor would talk Jon into something dramatic, to ease his nerves. The wild man was always about action. 

“And a puppy makes you feel better?”

“I mean, look at him.” He holds up the puppy and she finally gets a good look at him. All white fluff and deep amber eyes. 

“Jon,” she groans, reaching up, running a hand through the soft fur, the pup licking her hand. “You’re worse than a child,” she laughs. 

“C’mon Sans...” He sets the puppy down on his lap, the white fluff immediately curling up on his lap. 

“He’s your responsibility. Understood?”

“Deal.” His face spreads into a smile like a kid at Christmas, and all she can do is smile. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. This dog would give him something to do, to occupy his time. 

“I swear though, if he ruins any of my things...”

“Hear that Ghost?” She shakes her head, but she does enjoy seeing him so care free, if only for that moment. 

“You’re lucky I love you, but we do need to talk though...”

“About?”

“I’ve been asked to do an interview with Myrcella.”

“_Baratheon_?”

“She isn’t like the rest. And my story, could help someone else.”

“Are you sure this is the best time? They’ll have more questions. About everything.” Because as far as the rest of the world was concerned, they were dating. They were not married or having a baby. Their life was more of theirs after moving to Winterfell. They had privacy. This interview could damage that privacy. 

“I know. That’s why I’m talking to you... I know it wouldn’t just be an invasion into my privacy. It would be _ours_...”

“And you think you can help people?” He asks gently. She takes a deep breath, shifting closer to him, cupping his cheek. 

“Do you remember what happened after they released that interview from the press tour? And how many people came forward saying that you gave them hope?” He had cried tears of Joy the first night. “I want to be that for people if I can...”

“If this is something you want to do, I’ll support you.”

“Thank you...”


	11. Welcome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops

“Sansa, it’s so good to see you again.” She smiles, shaking Myrcella’s hand, doing her best not to imagine Joffrey, seeing her golden hair. 

“You too Ella.” Ella had helped her in reality. Myrcella had told her the truth of her family, and it was with her help she got free of them. Ella was different. That's what she kept telling herself.

“So this is going to be a pretty in depth interview, if at any time you need a break, or anything. Just let me know. We’ll cut and you can catch your breath.”

“Thank you.”

“We’ll be starting in a few minutes. So just hangout I guess, till then.” Myrcella walks away, and she turns walking over to Rhae and Davos. She had explicitly made Jon stay home, knowing their presence in Kingslanding together would draw too much attention. Her stomach turns, a mixture of nerves, and morning sickness, nine weeks pregnant now. She had begrudgingly told Davos, incase anything happened, gods forbid. Jon had made him swear not to leave her side the three days she was in the city.

“You’ll do great,” Rhae reassures her. 

“I hope. I just... This just makes it _real_.” It was easy enough to forget it, day to day, Baelish trapped behind bars for life. But now this made it really real. 

“Sansa?” She turns towards Myrcella. “We’re ready when you are.” Rhae hugs her tightly for support, and she finally walks over, sitting down across from Ella. “Thank you for coming today.”

“Thank you for having me.”

“So how have you been? You’ve been keeping your head low since the release of your last movie.” She stifles a laugh, nodding in agreement with Myrcella’s assessment. 

“It was time for a break... From the time I was eighteen I put everything into my work. It put so much of myself into it, I didn’t remember who I was away from it.” 

“You grew in popularity very quickly, after appearing in Jenny Oldstones music video.”

“It was strange. I had done a few shows previously, small rolls. A couple runs in theatre, and then all of a sudden I was twenty years old walking down the street, getting recognized.”

“I can only imagine.”

“I mean, you always hear about the big break, but then when it happens, you wonder how you got there.”

“And how old were you when you were introduced to Petyr Baelish?” Her heart skips a beat, hearing his name. 

“I was nineteen. I had heard of him in name. My mother had grown up with him, and I had been struggling so she introduced us. It was just before the video released, that she passed. I was just about to turn twenty one. And I suddenly found myself without parents, trying to navigate a very complicated world. And he was there...”

“What changed? Petyr Baelish is well known for people keeping quiet. What made you stand up to him?”

“I got tired... I got tired of telling myself it was okay when his hands wandered, or he would force a kiss. I had met someone, and I didn’t want him tainting it.”

“Your boyfriend, Jon Snow?” She smiles softly, nodding. “The two of you have had a very turbulent few years. How is he?”

“He’s good.” 

She’s exhausted by the end, every part of her aching after sitting there for over two hours, and all she wants is Jon. She just misses her husband. “Let’s get you home.” She’s silent the entire drive back to Rhaenys’s place, half in a daze. She only vaguely remembers Rhae telling her Willas is away on business. And then she wants to cry as soon as she sees Jon there, waiting for her.

“What’re you...” Her words fail her as he embraces her tightly, burying his face in her neck. 

“You think I was just going to let you do this alone?” He laughs lightly, pulling her closer. She didn’t realize just exactly how tired she was until she’s in his arms. It’s almost as if he can feel her exhaustion, lifting her into his arms, carrying her to the guest room. 

The next thing she knows, she’s curled up against him, reciting the events of her day, while he holds her close. She couldn’t even find it in herself to be upset that he hadn’t listened to her. She just wanted to find comfort in his arms. But then his stupid phone just had to go off. She lays down on her side as he answers, resting a hand on her slightest of swells that had formed. She could still hear the heartbeat clear as day after hearing it at the ultrasound last week. Their babe was inside of her, growing, perfectly healthy. She’s pulled from her thoughts though, as she looks up to see Jon look as if he might faint, not even listening to what he’s saying. He looked angry, afraid? And then he’s hanging up and climbing out of bed without a word. “Jon.”

“I have to go.” 

“What? What is it?” She sits up, watching him stalk around the room, collecting his things. It’s scaring her. She only grows more afraid as he remains silence. She gets up, grabbing him by the wrist. “What is going on with you?!”

“Nothing. Sansa. Go back to bed,” he snaps. Never in the entirety they had been close, had he just dismissed her like that. Except...

“Are you drinking again?” He flinches like she had physically struck him. 

“You _honestly_ think-?!“ “I don’t know what to think! You get one phone call and all of a sudden you’re a complete stranger to me! Your _scaring_ me...!” She argues, placing a defensive hand over her belly, stepping away from him. Right now this man was a stranger to her.

He steps forward, wrapping her in his arms again, whispering apologies into her ear. “I’m sorry... I’m sorry Sansa...” She starts to cry, melting into his touch, confused and scared beyond reason. Of all the darkness she had walked through beside him, she had never seen him so like this. So agitated. 

“Jon, I don’t understand...” He sighs, taking her hand, leading her over to the edge of the bed and sitting down. 

“The year before we met, things were bad. Ygritte and I had just broken up, and I wanted to forget. So I buried myself in whatever I could...” She still remembered reading tabloid headlines with him plastered on the front. “And more than once, it involved women. Just one night and then I’d never hear or see from them again...”

“Jon, what does that have to do with anything?”

“Because Sam just called me. He called me and told me I have a three year old daughter who’s mother was just killed in an accident...” The air leaves her lungs instantly, trying to process the idea. Jon having a three year old daughter. 

“How do you know it’s real?” She finally manage to form some semblance of a question. 

“Sam wouldn’t call if it wasn’t, he insisted on being prepared for something like this... Sansa I’m sorry... But I can’t just. I can’t just leave her... My father did that with-“ “Jon. I know... This is just... A _lot_.” She’s not even angry, she’s just trying to process this. 

“I’m sorry...” 

“No,” she cups his cheek gently, “it’s okay... It’s not like it happened when we knew each other.”

“You never asked for this... I’d understand if-“ “If what Jon? I always told you I wanted kids... I’ll love her like my own. Now let’s go get her.”

“I love you.”

She’s grateful it’s the dead of night when they get to the hospital, being ushered inside quickly by their security. The doctors are already waiting for them, pointing out the little girl sitting in a chair, tears rolling down her cheeks. “I don’t even know her name...” Jon mumbles, one of the nurses taking pity on him.

“Mya.” 

She clings to Jon’s hand as he leads her over to the tiny girl, and as soon as she gets a closer look, there’s no doubt she’s Jon’s daughter. Short black curls, dark grey eyes. She has warmer skin and a rounded face though, probably traits from her mother. Jon kneels down in front of Mya, her wide grey eyes finally looking up at him. Jon releases her hand then. “Hi...”

“Are you my Daddy?” She asks softly, a glimmer of hope pouring into her eyes. Jon can only nod before Mya launches herself into his arms, hugging him tightly. For a moment Jon seems too stunned, before he hugs her tiny frame in return. 

Wanting to give her husband and step daughter a moment, she wanders over to the nurses station. “Excuse me? How long as she been here?” 

“A few hours?” A male nurse by the name Gendry answers. 

“Alone?”

“Ma’am. As I’m sure you can see, we're very short staffed.”

“She’s _three_ and her mother just _died_.”

“I’m sorry.” He does look sympathetic before an alarm goes off down the hall, and off he goes. 

A social worker shows up not long after that, walking through paperwork and such with them. It’s close to four in the morning before they wrap Mya in a blanket, covering her face as best they can, and head for the car that’s waiting for them. They get to Rhae’s, who had been calling and texting them like crazy for the last few hours, wondering where the hell they’d been. Her sister in law nearly faints seeing them walks through the door with a small child. They’re all exhausted, but she lets Jon go put Aubrey to bed while she explains. “Sansa, what the fuck is happening?” Rhae whispers the second Jon is out of sight with Mya.

“She’s Jon’s...” she whispers softly, thinking of the small babe growing inside her. It was far from simple before, but now things were so complicated her stomach won’t stop turning. “She’s three, and her mum just died...”

“Are you sure she’s-“ “She looks just like him Rhae,” she counters, sitting down on the sofa. “She saw him, and she just knew.”

“Just let me know if you need a divorce attorney.”

“What?” She stammers, feeling worse by the second. 

“I mean I would understand. I don’t think I could do it if Willas brought home someone else’s child.” There was a lot Rhae didn’t know in fairness, but her response still manages to shock her. 

“I love Jon. And I’ll love Mya. He made a mistake, one that occurred before I was even a thought in his mind. I’m not angry about it. I’m just worried.” She leaves Rhae after that, walking to the guest room to see Jon laying on the bed, with Mya asleep on his chest. Walking over to the empty side of the bed, curling up against him, resting her head on his shoulder. 

“I love her Sansa...” He murmurs, a love she had never seen in his eyes. Part of her deep down _was_ angry. Angry that their child wouldn’t be his firstborn. That he had ruined that night with a drunk stupor. That would be tainted now. But she knew she couldn’t hate a child for being born. She just wondered what this would mean for _their_ child. She was afraid of what it would mean for their child. So she doesn’t say anything.

They fly home two days later, Jon utterly infatuated with his daughter. She’d had a few phone calls with Jeyne and Meera ending in tears. Jon had yet to even introduce her to Mya, and she didn’t want to make assumptions, because this was his daughter. Not to mention she didn’t want Mya to think she was trying to replace the mother she lost. A mother they didn’t really know all that much about, aside from being dead. Truth was she hadn’t really said much since. She didn’t know how to talk to Jon without breaking down in tears. So like she had always done before, she suffers in silence. Waking up alone, going to bed with Ghost as her only company. The pup wasn’t exactly thrilled with his sisters new arrival either.

“_Sansa_.” She looks up from her book, already ready for bed, expecting Jon to stay with Mya again. The way he’s looking at her, he’d probably said her name a few times before she noticed him. 

“You forget something?” She asks, setting her book down, glancing around the room, Jon sitting down in front of her, taking her hand. 

“My wife, according to my sister.” She should’ve known Rhae would tell Jon about her breakdown in Kingslanding. “I’m sorry Sansa...”

“She’s just a scared little girl. She needs her father. She already-“ “It’s not excuse. I don’t want her to just be mine. I don’t want to do this alone. I want to do this with my beautiful wife who I love and adore.”

“She already had a mother Jon... And I don’t want to replace that.” It wouldn’t be right, she couldn’t do it. Replace a child’s mother she had just lost... So she didn’t know where that would place her. 

“That doesn’t mean she can’t be your daughter,” he argues gently, tightening his grip on her hand. “She can be _ours_...” 

“I don’t know where my place is, in all this Jon...”

“It’s right next to me.”

“Daddy?” They both turn to see Mya in the doorway, clinging to her teddy bear, tears in her eyes. She’d had nightmares every night for the last five days she’d been with them. 

“Come here sweet,” Jon coaxes gently, Mya running over to him, Jon lifting her onto his lap. He brushes her wild curls from her face, pressing a kiss to Mya’s cheek. “You have a bad dream again?” She only nods in response. “Why don’t you tell Sansa about it?”

Mya looks up at her with her big grey eyes, really looking her over for the first time. Until his moment, all she was, was some woman who lived with her father and moped around the house along with a small cloud with eyes. 

“It’s alright...” he coaxes, “She’s the best listener. She has magic powers, so that when you tell her your bad dreams you feel so much better...” She smiles, her heart swelling. Jon was such a natural father, and he had been so afraid. Now she was the one scared shitless.

“She does?” Mya asks in complete awe, turning her attention back to her. 

“Why don’t you give it a try?” Now it was her turn to be afraid. What if-

“Ella was angry.” She glances to Jon, who’s brows furrow together at the name. 

“Who’s Ella?”

“My mother, but she didn’t like it... She said it made her old.” That nearly breaks her heart. Clearly Ella hadn’t been the mother she’d imagined for Mya. 

“Why was she angry?” She asks hesitantly. 

“I was too loud...” Mya whispers, her gaze shifting downwards. “She told me to be quiet, but I got scared... So she got angry and left... Is she really dead?"

“She is,” Jon answers sadly. 

“Ella was mean,” Mya admits quietly. “Do I have to call you Sansa?”

“You can call me whatever you like.”

“Will you be my mummy?”

“Of course I will...” she breathes, relief flooding through her as Mya crawls forward, hugging her tightly. It’s that moment she feels the same love Jon did that day at the hospital. She pulls Mya closer, trying and failing not to cry. “Of course I will...”Jon settles into his side of their bed, Mya falling asleep between them. That moment she knows they’ll be okay.


	12. Take Action

She holds Mya close to her chest, using her coat hood to shield her face as she bolts towards the car, flash blinding her in every direction. It was the first assault of paps she’d had to deal with in Winterfell, and of course she was twelve weeks pregnant and had her daughter with her. Thank gods Edd is there to shield them.She scrambles into the back seat, the door slamming shut. A few minutes later they pull away from the curb, and she finally takesa chance to check on Mya. She pulls her away gently, pulling the hood down and checking her over. “Mummy I’m scared...”

“I know baby,” she sighs. Kissing Mya’s forehead gently, she pulls her close again. “I know...” She rubs the three years olds back gently, trying to get her to stop shaking.  All she wanted to do was to take Mya out shopping. She didn’t have many toys. She’d only come from Kingslanding with the clothes she had, which didn’t fit her at all. They were all big and baggy on her and most likely boys clothes. _Clearly_ it was a mistake, because somehow the paps had been tipped off. 

“You alright Ms. Snow?” Edd asks from the front seat.

“A bit shaken is all...” They were going to have to be more careful going out from now on, till it all died down again. There was no doubt in her mind, their harassers had come from Kingslanding. They would leave in a few weeks if they bid their time right. Gods, what had she been thinking, even taking the chance? Mya was traumatized enough, and now there was only more, all because she wanted to spoil her with _things_? It seems stupid now.

“Back so soon?” Jon asks as he hears them come through the front door, lounging on the sofa with Ghost. 

“Daddy...!” Mya cries, immediately alerting her husband that something was wrong. He sits up, rushing towards them as he sees them so frazzled. 

“What happened??” He takes Mya in his arms, quickly leading her over to the sofa to sit down. 

“They just showed up, Jon, and they were everywhere. I didn’t think-“ “It’s okay...” He quiets her, kissing her cheek softly. The mobs had always been scary before, but now that it put their child- _children_ at risk? She’d never been so afraid in her life. “It’s alright now...”

For the last two weeks they had been home with Mya, just the three of them. They wanted to get a schedule down with her, get her comfortable with both of them. She hadn’t been around anyone except them. They’d even decided to wait to introduce Mya to Robb and his family. Mya had been through a lot with her mother, and now they were just trying to show her how much they loved her. That night though Robb, Jeyne, Ben, and Cat were supposed to come over for dinner to meet their new niece and cousin. And to hear that there would be another soon enough, since she was twelve weeks now.That was the only exception to leaving the house, was going to her OB appointment. Mya has been so excited to learn she would have a baby brother or sister. She had screamed with excitement as soon as she had seen the ultrasound image on the screen. Every Sunday she would ask how big the baby was. She was brilliant beyond her years.

“Mummy, how big is the baby now?”

“It’s the size of a plum, baby,” she answers, smiling. They’d been watching Disney movies the last hour, trying to calm down before dinner. 

“How big is a plum?” She laughs, knowing that it would probably stump Mya. Jon smirks as he stands, lifting Mya up and walks over to the kitchen. He swings open the fridge, fishing out a plum a moment later. “That’s a plum?” Mya scrunches her nose at the purple fruit. 

“Aye, you wanna try it?” She gets up, resorting the large sweater she’d been wearing to hide her swell, joining them in the kitchen.

“Okay...” Jon sets Mya down on the counter and she rushes over, lifting her into her arms instead. 

“Jon, you can’t just set her on the counter like that,” she scolds her husband, Mya just laughing as her father hunts down a knife. 

“She’s fine...” She can only shake her head, too tired to argue further. He cuts up the plum, peeling off the skin before handing a small piece to Mya. She takes the piece, taking a bite, her face turning to one of disgust.

“Gross...”

“You don’t like it, Sweet?” Jon laughs, taking the piece and tossing it in the trash. It was cute, Jon putting so much thought into it, very well knowing what their daighters reaction would be.

“_No_... Mummy, can I see the baby again?” She sighs, knowing what Mya meant. She wanted to see her bump. 

“Sweet, your Aunt and Uncle and cousins will be here soon,” she attempts to argue. 

“C’mon Mum, please,” Jon begs like a child, taking Mya back, setting her down on the ground. 

“You two are impossible.” Jon and Mya, were two peas in a pod. Even Ghost was on their side a few times, but she was okay with it. She had her family and she loved them. She lifts the hem of her sweater, revealing the small bump to both of them. She was barely showing, but just enough to know there was a babe inside. Mya steps forward, kissing her belly.

“Hello... I’m your big sister...” She does the same thing every time, and every time it makes her emotional. How willing a little girl who had nothing was to share it all. Looking up, Jon is just as emotional. “Okay, night night.” She pulls her sweater down again, hiding any sign of a baby, just as the doorbell rings.

She kneels down to Mya’s height. “You ready?”

“What if they don’t like me? Will you get rid of me?”

“No. Baby, we would never get rid of you. Ever,” Jon vows, kneeling down too.

“Never.” She kisses Mya’s head, walking over to the front door, swinging it open to see her family. 

“Aunt Sansa!” Ben hugs her legs tightly. She does her best to hug him back, stepping aside to let the rest of them in. 

“Well you’ve had a busy three weeks,” Robb jokes, pulling her into a quick embrace, while Jeyne holds Cate on her hip. 

“You have no idea...” 

“Mummy!” Mya runs forward hugging her tightly. “Is this your family?”

“It is,” she smiles, lifting her onto her own hip, earning a glare from Jon. The doctor had told her to be careful lifting, but she couldn't help it. Especially after today, she wanted Mya close.

“It’s very nice to meet you Mya.”

“This is your Aunt Jeyne and Uncle Robb. And those are your cousins, Benjen and Catelyn...”

“Who are you?” Benjen asks, saying it more like an accusation, crossing his arms. 

“Ben,” Robb kneels down, “this is your cousin, Mya.”

“But why did she call Aunt Sansa, ‘mummy’?”

“Because Aunt Sansa is her Mummy now.”

“I don’t want a cousin!” He shouts, running down the hall to the playroom. 

“Why doesn’t he like me?” Mya asks, sounding close to tears as she buries her face in her shoulder. 

“He’ll come around...” 

Jeyne just tells them to leave Benjen be. He’d been having more behavioral problems lately- she’d noticed it too. Turns out they had gotten him tested, since Ben was causing so many problems in class and had been diagnosed with ADHD. He was going to start seeing a therapist soon, but until then, they were just trying to cope. Eventually though, she wanders down the hall, while Mya sits on Jon’s lap, telling Robb and Jeyne about their Disney marathon. She knocks on the door before pushing it open, seeing Ben in the corner, curled in a ball, staring at a doll Jon had given Mya a few days ago. It had clearly been thrown where it is now. “Benjen...”

“Why do you have to be her mum?!” He shouts, refusing to look at her as she sits down across from him. “She isn’t even a _baby_!”

“No she isn’t,” she agrees. “Mya, used to live with her mother, who carried her in her belly, like your mum did with you and Cate.”

“Then you’re not her mum,” he says with certainty. 

“Just because I didn’t carry her in my belly, doesn’t mean I’m not her mum. Not everyone carries their babies in them. Sometimes the world works in funny ways...”

“I don’t want you to be her mum...”

“That’s not very nice.”

“Why don’t you send her back to her _real_ mum?”

“Her mother _died_ Benjen... And even if she didn’t, not everyone’s mums love them. And would you really want to make Uncle Jon sad like that? Sending his daughter away?”

“She’s his?”

“Just like Robb is your Daddy.”

“Is that why you love her?”

“I love her because she’s my daughter too.”

“So you don’t love me anymore?”

“Oh lovey. Of course I still love you,” she tries to reassure him, realizing why he’s so upset. “I will always be your Aunt Sansa... I’m just someone’s mum now too. You’ll still always be my lovey.”

“I will?”

“Of course... And it would really mean a lot to me and Uncle Jon if you were nice to Mya. She’s really scared. She had to move away from her home with people she doesn’t know all that well.”

“I’m sorry Aunt Sansa... I didn’t mean to disappoint you...”

“It’s okay... Now come give me a hug.” He hugs her tightly, apologizing again before they head back into the room, Robb and Jeyne eyeing her weirdly. 

“Anything you’d care to share with us Sans?” Jeyne asks in a joking manner. She glances to Jon who just shakes his head and looks to Mya on his lap. 

“She may or may not have spilled our secret,” her husband explains, her taking a solid minute to figure it out though.

“Oh,” she realizes. Benjen looks up at her entirely confused before releasing her hand and running to his mother. 

“I’m sorry mummy...” She looks at Mya who looks like she’s about to break into tears again. “I didn’t mean it.”

“Oh no, baby, it’s okay... You don’t have to cry,” she tries to reassure the toddler, kneeling down beside her. And that’s when she breaks down sobbing though, burying her face in Jon’s chest. 

“Mya, Sweet, we aren’t upset with you,” Jon murmurs softly, stroking her wild curls, while she rubs her back gently. It had been a long day. 

“I’m sorry... I... Ella... Yell...” She hears Mya’s muffled explanation, growing more upset by the second. 

“I think it’s bed time,” she decides, tucking a curl from Mya’s face, lifting her into her arms. “I’ll be back...”

“Need help?” It had only taken those few minutes for Mya to get so worked up. Tears streaming down her cheeks, her face red, snot running as she takes uneven breaths. 

“No, it’s okay.” She uses her sleeve to wipe away a few of Mya’s tears. “C’mon Sweet...” She holds her daughter close as she makes her way upstairs to her room, right across the hall from theirs. She walks over to the rocking chair, setting Mya in her lap, trying to get her relax. “Sweetling, it’s alright... You didn’t do anything wrong... I’m not Ella, I’m your mum, remember?”

“I _sorry_...” she stammers, completely hysteric. 

“I know... I forgive you. I love you _very_ much, and everything will be alright, okay?” Mya manages a strangled ‘mhmm,’ still sobbing. She starts to rock back and forth, rubbing Mya’s back, her tiny head resting on her chest. She starts to hum softly, finally getting Mya to relax a bit. Once she’s calmed down a bit, she holds Mya in her arms, walking next door to the bathroom. She sits her down on the counter, standing right there as she quickly wets a wash cloth with cool water. Gently she wipes away the tears and snot covering her pretty little girls face.

“I’m sorry mummy...”

“No more apologizing tonight, alright?” She kisses Mya’s crown of black curls, hating seeing her in such a state. “You did nothing wrong.”

“I cried. I’m not supposed to cry like a baby...”

“Oh sweet... You _are_ a baby. You are _my_ baby. I will never be cross with you for crying. It’s okay to feel sad sometimes.” She gently brushes Mya’s curls, remembering how her own mother would brush her hair when she was upset as a girl. “Now, let’s get you to bed...”

“Okay...” 

After that it only takes a few more minutes to get Mya to sleep, making her way downstairs. Cate is sound asleep in her car seat, Ben sitting in the living room watching a movie, Jon, Robb, and Jeyne all sitting in the kitchen. They looked tense. “Everything alright?”

“Can we talk? Alone?” Robb asks. She glances to her husband skeptically before nodding her head, leading him down the hall to the study. She walks inside, lowering herself into one of the plush leather chairs, drained. “I’m worried about you Sans.”

“Why?” She asks, entirely confused. “I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”

“This is wrong. He shouldn’t have done this to you-“ “Done this to me?” She laughs. “He didn’t _cheat_ on me. He hasn’t even looked at another woman since he’s _met_ me. He has a history, I know that. He’s told me about _all_ of it. He made mistakes? He’s human. You knew that. I love my husband and he loves me. And for months I prayed for a child, and the gods gifted me two. So I am grateful. I am grateful for my daughter, and I’m grateful for this babe growing inside me.”

“That simple then?”

“Like I told your son... We don’t always carrie our children in our bellies, but that doesn’t make them any less your children. Understood?”

“She has problems, Sansa.”

“Of course she does. Her mother didn’t love her. She hasn’t been gifted the luxury of being a child before. So she needs to be loved and nurtured, and you will be kind. _Understood_?” She repeats more forcefully, Robb nodding his head in agreement. “She’s my _daughter_. You're the one who told me I would be a mum one way or another," she reminds him, Robb shaking his head, a small smile pulling at his lips.

“I’m proud of you, you know that. Not just anyone could do what you’re doing.”

“Thank you...” 

Her brother and sister in law only stay for another hour before they head home, her and Jon heading to bed.She was grateful to lay her head down on the cushioned pillow. It had been throbbing on and off all day, to the point she was nearly nauseous again. “Are you alright...?” Jon asks, curling up behind her, his arms wrapping around her waist as he pressing his lips to her shoulder.

“Headache,” she mumbles, keeping her eyes closed. 

“Again?”

“You heard the doctor Jon, it’s normal. Now can we sleep? It’s been a long day...”

“Okay...” 

She drifts off to sleep, only to be shaken awake at four thirty in the morning, Mya standing there with a look of shame covering her face. “What is it baby?”

“I had an accident again... I’m sorry...”

“It’s okay,” Jon answers from behind her, already climbing out of bed. “Let’s let mum sleep a bit more okay?” She silently thanks Jon, letting her drift off to sleep again. It’s nearly ten before she wakes up again, feeling better than she had. 

She heads downstairs to see Mya at the table coloring while Jon flips pancakes. “Mummy!” Mya squeals excitedly, running over and hugging her tightly. 

“Hi sweet.” She kneels down, stroking Mya’s hair out of her face. 

“Do you feel better mummy?”

“I do. Thank you...”

“Daddy’s making pancakes!” 

“Is he?” Mya takes her hand, leading her the rest of the distance to the kitchen. She lifts her daughter into her arms, sitting her down on her lap as she sits on a stool at the counter. Jon walks over, kissing her lips softly. 

“Morning...”

“Morning. Thank you...”

“Hey I have the easy part.”

“Gross.” They both laugh looking down at Mya, who’s nose is scrunched in disgust. Both of them kiss her cheeks a moment later, making her giggly. 

“We love you Sweetheart.”

“I know.” _Good_. That’s all she ever wanted for Mya, was for her to know she was loved, and that love would never go away. 

  
****


	13. Change has to Happen

** _Bastard Child?_ **

_-It was only six weeks ago that reports appeared that Jon Snow, (29), was officially a father. Snow reportedly took custody of the three year old child, after the death of the mother. Sources close to Snow say he and girlfriend, Sansa Stark, (24), are supposedly raising the child now in their private Winterfell home. _

“At least they don’t know her name,” she sighs, massaging her temples as she reads over the article, Jon, Davos, and Sam all sitting around. 

“I swear to the fucking gods, if they try to go near our daughter-“ Jon growls angrily, loosing his temper. 

“Son, Sansa’s right- And she usually is. They don’t have a name, they don’t have a picture of her face, they don’t even have a bloody gender,” Davos tries his best to reassure them. 

“But they _know_,” he counters, “and that will put a target on her. How is she ever supposed to have a normal life now??”

“Jon,” she relents, grasping his hand tightly, “Mya has never been normal. There’s no way to make them un-know. The only thing we can do, is prepare her... I’m angry. Just as much as you, but we can’t do anything anymore.”

“This is ridiculous. They should be protected. _She_ should be protected! There has to be something more we can do...! What about when the baby comes? A _newborn_?”

“I _know_...”

“Well actually,” Sam starts hesitantly, drawing all of their attention to him. “There’s a new bill up for a vote with parliament. A bill that makes it a misdemeanor for paparazzi to harass children of so called celebrities, or public figures.”

“There is?”

“How can we help?” 

“Well from what I’ve heard, so far it’s a split decision. The vote could go either way. There are others who will be testifying in front of the legislature. It probably wouldn’t hurt to have you both back the bill.”

“And what does it change? What does it do exactly?”

“They can face up to a year in prison and up to a ten thousand dollar fine, for harassing children at any point.”

And before they know it, they find themselves before the legislature. It was a risk they knew that, but it was a risk they were willing to take. She sits down before the committee, greeting them, introducing herself. And then she finally takes a deep breath, and begins her testimony. “It was three weeks after we brought our daughter home, that we went to get some clothes at a shop in Winterfell. She’s three years old, recently recovering from a trauma, only coming to Winterfell with the clothes on her back.

“We had only just entered the store, and I had set her down to look at toys, only turning to speak to one of the managers. That is when a man approached us, not even bothering to hide his camera. Without question, I grabbed my daughter, covered her face and ran for the car, only to be met with a hoard. They were shoving and grabbing at us, all the while I was twelve weeks pregnant. Had we been alone, that day could’ve ended very different.My daughter could’ve very easily been harmed, or worse, and had anything happened to myself, I could’ve easily _lost_ my baby. So I _implore_ you...” Her voice quivers as she looks to each of the committee. “Protect our children. We made a choice. They did not, and they should not suffer for it. It’s heartbreaking to realize, as a parent that you cannot be the one to protect your child... Thank you.” 

She stands, heading straight for Jon, hugging him tightly for a moment. And then it’s his turn, and she’s forced to sit silently. He does the same introduction, before beginning his testimony. “My wife was polite explaining the events of that day. What she won’t tell you was how she and our daughter shook for hours afterwards. How my daughter cried for me, terrified that the bad men would harm her or her mother. How my wife, at twelve weeks pregnant, nearly fainted from the stress, color drained from her face.

“We don’t choose to relinquish all privacy when we enter our profession. We learn to accept it though, because we do what we love and we love doing it. Until it puts the _lives_ of our _children_ at risk,” he hisses bitterly, looking around. “Children so young they can not comprehend that their lives are any different. That there _is_ a life where they can go to a store for a new dress without large men and cameras harassing them. That there is a life where they can go to school unafraid, where they can have friends.

“You can blame us, for choosing our lives, choosing to involve children, but we cannot undo it. The world won’t allow us to forget and move on, no matter how hard we try. These people don’t know what boundaries are, and it is the very lack of boundaries that got my half brother, Aegon Targaryen killed at five years old.” She’s surprised, that he would bring up the brother he never met. He had only talked about it once, in Dorne. How Aegon had been walking out of school when paps cornered him, chased him. Aegon ran into the street and was hit by a car, killed instantly. It was why Jon was so protective, hearing the story from Rhae. He would never let it happen to Mya or their baby. 

“Thank you for your time and consideration.” Now it was up to the committee whether they would pass the bill, and allow the prime minister to legalize it. 

They hold their breaths for weeks, laying low. The hearing had drawn a lot of attention to them, and the others who had testified in favor. Including Tyrion Lannister, Myrcella Baratheon, and Loras Tyrell. The list goes on. The support from the people in their industry was numerous. People wanted their children protected, and even those without children, wanted children to be protected. 

Twenty one weeks pregnant, she had drained away any spare energy she had. Jon had signed a contract to do an animated film, and Mya was starting to get more comfortable with herself. Which meant more energy. So it meant hours alone everyday with an energized toddler being trapped inside. Ghost had become quite helpful though, constantly keeping an eye on Mya, chasing her around the house to burn energy. 

The sex though had been fantastic of late. Jon had been hesitant at first. First because he didn’t want to hurt the baby, then because it was weird having the baby so close. It took her breaking down in tears because she was just so _frustrated_. And then it was weird because she was on her hands and knees, and he didn’t like fucking her like a dog, but he realized quickly how uncomfortable it was for her to be on her back and him on top. They’d had to get creative after that. Not just with position, but location and timing as well. Before whenever they had Benjen over, it was easier just to withhold the few days that he was there. But now Mya was always there. And she loved her daughter, more than almost anything, but she was horny. And she tended to get tense if she didn’t get laid. Especially with everything that was happening.

“Sam just called.” She glances over her shoulder to see Jon enter their bedroom, while she lays on her side, rubbing her aching belly. It had actually become a proper bump around sixteen weeks, and it had begun to stretch further since. There was no doubt she was pregnant now. 

“And?” He lays down behind her, snuggling closer, his hand resting over her belly. 

“And it passed... Prime Minister is going to sign it next week.”

“Really?” Her heart skips a beat as she turns to meet his gaze. “Truly?”

“They’re gonna be safe Sansa... Protected,” he affirms, placing a hand on her belly. 

“Thank the gods,” she breathes, curling into him. They could breathe now. “I love you.”

“How are you feeling today?” He asks, gently. 

“Just aches... She said it could start happening more. Stretch marks and such...” she groans. 

“C’mere...” He sits up, carefully moving her onto his lap, leaning over and grabbing her lotion from the bed stand. She pulls up her shirt, exposing her swollen belly, that he starts to rub gently. She closes her eyes, leaning into his chest as he works gently. 

“You keep spoiling me like this...” she warns him, making him laugh. 

“I will spoil you everyday that I have.”

“I love you.”

“Let’s go to Dorne...”

“Do you not remember how it went last time?”

“A baby moon, just you, me, and Mya this time. She’s never been on a trip before.” She sighs, knowing he’s right. “Just a week of warmth. And _us_...” She starts to laugh. If he actually thought that they would manage to get any alone time with Mya in a strange environment. It had taken her close to a month to let them out of sight in their own home. He only sighs, realizing the dream is gone. 

“Owe,” she winces, placing a hand over her belly. 

“What? Did I-?” “No. The baby is kicking,” she explains, placing Jon’s hand where hers had just been. A few moments pass before she feels a sharp kick again, Jon laughing in disbelief.

“I love you Sansa...”

She’s asleep for about an hour before Mya wakes both of them up in tears, crying about a nightmare she had. With every nightmare, her heart broke more, hearing the terrible things their baby had endured before coming home. “Come here baby...” Mya climbs into the bed, laying down between them, Jon taking a deep breath as he sits up flipping a light on. “What happened...?”

“I don’t wanna go away,” Mya cries, wrapping her arms around Jon as she sobs. “I don’t want to go back to Ella...!”

“Sweetheart, you aren’t going anywhere,” he whispers, rubbing her back gently, Mya clinging to him for dear life like someone is going to rip her away. “You’re staying right here with me and your mum... okay? No one could ever take you away from us.”

She meets her husbands gaze, both of them worried. With each episode, it grew more and more difficult to soothe her. The amount of days she wished that Mya had been with them from the beginning. That she would’ve always known love and happiness. _All_ of their lives would’ve been so different. 

“What... About... When... Baby... Comes...?” Mya stammers out between shaky breaths. 

“Sweetling, come here,” she begs softly, Mya crawling over to her and hugging her tightly. She runs her hand through the toddlers hair, tugging her close as she begins to sing to her softly. She sings until her throat is soar and she’s breathless, but finally Mya relaxes. 

“Mya, we will love you forever and you will stay with us forever if that’s what you want... but we will _never_ get rid of you. Baby is going to need their big sister. Okay?”

“Yes mummy...”

“Good... Because we love you,” she repeats, kissing Mya’s head. 


	14. Our Happy Ending

Thirty five weeks pregnant, did not agree with her. She was exhausted all the time, her back was killing her, her pelvis hurt, and the Braxton Hicks Contractions were making it worse. She still wasn’t exactly sure how Jeyne had talked her into a baby shower. 

“You look beautiful.” She’s sighs as Jon walks over, placing his hands in her hips, kissing the nape of her neck. 

“I look like I’m the size of a whale.” He only rolls his eyes, kissing her cheek. 

“You’re too hard on yourself. You have another human inside you.”

“Not for much longer...” She walks across the room, grabbing her phone and purse. “At least this will be quiet.” Just family, and close friends, that’s what Jeyne promised.

Truth was, she was done being pregnant. She was _huge_, and that was being polite about it. Their baby was already measuring full term, seven whole pounds. She wasn’t sure if she could stretch anymore than she had. She’d tried to prevent the stretch marks as much as she could, but it was in vein. And according to the OB, she was already carrying low, dilated a centimeter or two. She could have this baby at any second. 

“Congratulations!” Everyone shouts as they get to Robb and Jeyne’s. Jon has a hand on the small of her back, holding Mya in his other arm. 

It was good to see everyone again, not seeing a few of them since their wedding, nearing a year ago. One more week to their two year anniversary. Time had passed so quickly, she wished it would slow down. 

Last year though, all she wanted was the world to hurry up so she could hold a baby in her arms. Now she had a just turned four year old, and a baby on the way. Mya turned four about a month ago, she and Jon using it as an excuse to spoil her rotten. They’d gone to Queenscrown for a few days, Ghost coming along as well. They’d realized not long after Mya came home how protective the pup was of her. And now that he was pushing a hundred pounds grown, he made for good protection. He’d even started sleeping in her bed with her.

“Thank you...” Yes, time was passing too quickly. 

Dany and her four kids and come from Essos, Rhae and Willas from Kingslanding, even Sam Tarly and his family had come. All she could do was smile as she sat with Jeyne, watching all of the kids play. Watching _her_ daughter play. 

“I’m so happy for you Sans... Your a fantastic mum.”

“I never want it to end Jeyne... I can’t believe how much she’s grown since she came home.” That was true enough. Over the last seven months, Mya has slowly grown, loosing the baby look of her. The pediatrician was happy she finally started to put weight on, being underweight when they first got custody. And just last week, she had legally adopted Mya as hers. 

“You going to miss being pregnant?”

“Gods no,” she answers quickly. She actually hated being pregnant. From what her OB said, her pregnancy had been harder on her body than most. The aches and pains, she even had a hard time putting on weight. “I’m just glad they’re healthy.”

“It’s worth it when you hold them.”

“I look forward to it.”

“Do you? Umpteen hours of labor?” She stifles a laugh knowing Jeyne is right, looking up to see Dany walk over with her youngest on her hip. 

“Mind if I join you?” 

“Sure.” After the events of Dorne, Dany had felt awful. She apologized countless times. Although some part of her told her that Dany still saw her as some whore. She would never dare speak it though. 

She grows tired quickly, being around so many people draining her. It doesn’t help when Dany’s second youngest, Rhaego_, _shoves Mya onto the ground making her cry. 

“Mummy...!” Mya sobs, running over to her, throwing herself onto her lap, her small arms wrapping around her legs.

All hell breaks out from there, Benjen and the oldest break into a fight, Benjen being noble as he is wants to defend his cousins honor. And by the time the scuffle is over her head is pounding and all she wants to do is lay down. “How about we get you home?” Jon whispers softly in her ear and all she can do is nod in agreement as he lifts Mya into his arms.

As soon as they get home though, she feels the need to go through the nursery and make sure everything is in place, after changing into sweats of course. She ends up sitting on the floor, folding all of the clothes they’d received at the shower, sorting them into the dresser drawers. “Mya’s taking a nap with Ghost,” Jon informs her, walking over and sitting down across from her. “You should be resting.”

“And you think we’ll get any sleep when the baby is here?” She counters. “Besides this needs to get done before the baby comes, and need I remind you that could be any second?” 

“Sansa... I’m only worried about you.” He leans forward, taking her hand in his, stopping her work. “This hasn’t been easy on you. The doctor said you need rest.” She sighs knowing he’s right, but she also knows he feels guilty in part. Everything they endured for her to get pregnant, and then she ends up absolutely miserable. 

“You’re sweet, and I appreciate your concern, and if you want you can help me, but this is what I need to be doing right now.” 

“Alright.” He leans forward kissing her brow before he sets about, sorting everything into its place, aside from the clothes. 

If there was thing about the pregnancy that she did somewhat enjoy was the Jon had spoiled her. Surprising her with gifts and paying for the nursery, they’d even gotten a new car so they had more room. For them, Mya, the baby, and Ghost. Normally she would argue against the splurge, but considering how well their earnings were for Winter Rose and the payout for his last movie, they could manage. 

Eventually he helps her back to her feet and she walks over to the rocking chair, sitting down, resting a hand on her swollen belly. The nursery had turned out beautiful, the soft grey and mint coloring turned out perfectly. Now it was just missing one thing. Their baby.

“Oh gods,” she gasps, as the thought crosses her mind. 

“What? What is it?” Jon sits down across from her, worry covering his face. 

“We haven’t even thought of names. We’ve just kept putting them off and now the babe could come-“ A sigh of relief escapes her husband. “I’m serious Jon!”

“I know, I know... I just. Names are easy Love.”

“Do you have any you’ve thought of?”

“Well no, but I’m sure we can figure something out. Do you have any names in mind?”

“A few... I just don’t know how you’d feel about them.” His brows furrow together in confusion. 

“Why wouldn’t I like them?”

“Well, if it’s a girl... I thought we might name her Lyanna. For your mother. I always liked the name and-“ He leans forward kissing her softly, his eyes watering, but a smile on his lips. 

“Are you sure?”

“I’m the one who suggested it didn’t I?”

“And for a boy?”

“I always liked Brandon. Bran for short?”

“They’re perfect.”

“Jon, we’re having a baby.” It’s that moment that it hits her that in weeks they’re going to be in charge of an actual human being. Which was true with Mya, but she was three when they took custody of her. It hadn’t been easy, but it definitely wasn’t caring for a newborn. 

“I can’t wait.”

“Yes the sleepless nights and paps swarming Winterfell trying to get a photo, I can't wait,” she answers intending for it to be a joke, but the dark look on Jon’s face tells her he doesn’t receive it that way. 

“Edd and Podrick will be around twenty four hours, and any paps will immediately be arrested. They aren’t putting our child at risk the way they did Mya.” She reaches forward taking his hand in hers. 

“We’ll be okay. I know it.”

The rest of the week is fairly laid back. Mya sleeps over at Jeyne and Robb’s on the eve of their anniversary, giving her and Jon a chance to sleep in. They never get that chance however since her contractions start. It starts around three in the morning, waking her up. Two hours later Jon is still timing her contractions as she paces around the room. “Sans, we should go to the hospital,” he begs for the fifth time in the last twenty minutes.

“I am still... twelve minutes apart...” She argues, taking deep breaths as a new one begins, just on cue. She leans against the dresser, placing a hand on her belly. 

“And I will feel better, when we’re at the hospital and Dr. Montgomery can look you over.”

“_Jon_...” She hisses as the contraction passes. 

“Baby,” he gets up walking over to her, “I don’t like seeing you in pain. It’s making me... _Anxious_...” She sighs. Anxious wasn’t exactly a code word, but he always said it when he was in an a situation that could trigger a craving. 

“Five more minutes, and then we can go, alright? You get my bag and I’ll call Jeyne.”

“Thank you,” he murmurs, kissing her temple, disappearing down the hall to get her hospital bag. She waddles over, sitting down on the bed, calling Jeyne knowing she would probably be awake already. 

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping in?” Jeyne asks in a teasing tone. 

“If only... So would Mya be able to stay a bit longer? Somethings come up.”

“Dear gods. Sans I love you, but your brother can’t take another love child-“ “Jeyne. I’m in labor.” She pulls the phone away from her ear just as Jeyne starts to scream. 

“What’re you doing calling me?! Get to the hospital already!” She laughs lightly at her sisters response. 

“Well I had to make sure my daughter was going to be looked after-“ “Of course she is! Now go! I’m sure Jon is a nervous wreck-“ “Sansa! C’mon love! I’ve got your things, let’s get going!” He shouts from the hall and all she can do is shake her head as the man she married.

“Sorry he’s-“ she starts to apologize only for Jeyne to congratulate her again and shoo her goodbye. And that’s how she finds herself clinging to Jon’s hand as they walk into the hospital at five in the morning. Dr. Montgomery is already there waiting, quickly leading them up to labor and delivery. 

She’s only just changed into a gown when her waters break, soaking her legs, feet, and the ground beneath her. “Shit. I’m so sorry,” she apologizes to the nurse who immediately starts to wipe it up. 

“Totally fine. Happens all the time you just worry about you and your baby.”

“Thank you.”

After a few more hours with her only at six centimeters, they attach her to a Pitocin drip to help her along. Within the hour she’s at ten centimeters, Dr. Montgomery telling her to push. “You can do this Sansa. We’re almost there,” Jon whispers in her ear as she crushes his hand. She’s exhausted, and being the idiot she is, she didn’t get an epidural.

“Alright Sansa. You need to push with the next contraction Alright? Your baby is ready to meet you.”

Hearing the small cries fill the room, tears of relief and joy streaming down her face as they place her baby on her chest. “You have a beautiful little girl.” She and Jon are both crying now. They finally had their sweet Lyanna to hold, after everything they’d endured to have her. And she’s absolutely perfect in every way she could’ve imagined. She’s bigger than she imagined she would be, being born four weeks early, but as they weigh and measure her, they’re told she’s over eight pounds. “She’s beautiful Sansa...” Jon murmurs, kissing her temple before Dr. Montgomery passes him the screaming babe. 

“Oh princess, it’s alright...” He coos, bouncing their daughter gently. She’s never seen him this happy before. Especially when Lyanna finally settles in his arms, his face lighting up like nothing she’s ever seen as Lea smiles up at him. “That’s it sweetheart...” 

Dr. Montgomery finally finishes with her and she’s finally able to hold her newborn daughter again. Lyanna has deep blue eyes and dark tufts of hair covering her head. Even as a squirming and red newborn, she looks like them. Tears rush down her cheeks again, Lyanna grabbing hold of her finger with her tiny hand. “_Jon_...”

“I know...” He sits down beside her, kissing her cheek. They loved Mya more than anything, but this moment was different. This was their child, a newborn baby. They never got that with Mya as much as she wished they did. Lyanna would always know love. 

Lyanna Arya Snow was born at 11:59 pm on their one year anniversary. And her daughter was the best anniversary gift she ever could’ve had. It was so late and both of them were so tired, by the time they were settled for the night, Jon sent Robb and Jeyne a text with a picture of Lyanna and they would bring Mya in the morning. 

She probably gets around four hours of sleep that night, waking up every few hours to feed Lyanna. Her lower parts ache life no tomorrow and her breasts just _hurt_. It all seems to fade away though when she holds her daughter in her arms. Her perfectly healthy and beautiful daughter. Their daughter. 

It’s a little after nine the next morning that Robb gets there with Mya, Jon heading down to get them, also to make sure Mya understood the rules with her baby sister. She would have to be quiet and gentle so not to scare Lyanna. Jon slips inside about twenty minutes after he left, Mya curled up in his arms, her face red. She’d been crying recently. More than anything she wants to get up and hug her girl, but her stitches and Lyanna in her arms prevent that. “We’re alright, aren’t we sweetheart?” Jon assures her, rubbing Mya’s back as he walks over sitting down on the end of the cot. 

“Sweet, what’s the matter?”

“Daddy... Daddy said I couldn’t hug you...” she stammers out, her grey eyes watering again. She glances to Jon to see a look of guilt in his own grey eyes. 

“Of course you can hug me, you just have to be very careful, okay?” Mya nods eagerly, Jon taking Lyanna. She leans forward hugging her daughter as tightly as she can manage. “I missed you...”

“You did?” Mya asks innocently.

“Of course I did. You’re my sweet little girl,” she assures her, kissing her head before pulling away from the embrace. 

“I’m not your baby anymore...”

“You’ll always be my baby. You'll both always be my babies."

"Mummy?"

"Yes?"

"I like having a baby sister." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End


End file.
